Q: What do you say to a bodybuilding cow farmer? A: Show us your calves!
Q: Why was the farmer arrested at the gym? A: He was destroying his calves.
This elliptical isn't the only thing getting my heart rate up.
At one Army base, the annual trip to the rifle range had been canceled for the second year in a row, but the semi-annual physical fitness test was still on as planned. One soldier mused, “Does it bother anyone else that the Army doesn’t seem to care how well we can shoot, but they are extremely interested in how fast we can run?”
How'd you like to go on a long romantic walk on the treadmill?
At the gym: Me: "What does this machine do?" "Sir, that's a bench." Me: "Perfect."
There were two guys at a gym Dan and Mike who hit the showers after a hard morning workout. Dan said to Mike "Hey! Have you heard? That there is a gay guy at our gym today." The Mike looking really curious and replies "Oh? Who do you think he is?" Dan looks at Mike from mid-section to eye level and, says "Let me give you a kiss first before I tell you who."
In year 1272 Arabics invented the condom, using a goat's lower intestine. In year 1873 the British somewhat reinvented the condom by taking it out of the goat first.
Q: Why wasn't the bodybuilder evicted? A: Because he was squatting.
Strong people don't put other people down. They lift them up and slam them to the ground for maximum impact.