Q: What do you say to a bodybuilding cow farmer? A: Show us your calves!
Q: Why was the farmer arrested at the gym? A: He was destroying his calves.
Everybody knows that Chuck Norris can't shoot a bow even though he got 5 bullseyes in a row. The only reason he got the bullseye is that his arrows know better than to miss.
Q: What exercise do Hairdressers do in the gym? A: Curls.
What’s the difference between goats and women?? Goats are always horney.
What do you do for exercise? I lift weights. What do you do for cardio? I lift weights faster.
An Australian guy walks into a bar with a crocodile under his arm. He asks the bartender if he will give him free drinks if he shows he can put his penis inside the crocs mouth for 15 seconds without it getting bit off. The bartender agrees. The guy opens the crocs mouth and puts his penis inside it; the croc gently closes his mouth and after 15 seconds the Australian hits him over the head with a bottle, causing the croc to open his mouth and let the guy withdraw his penis. The bartender starts serving the free drinks to the Austr alian and then tells everyone in the bar "If anyone else can do that then I will give them free drinks also". There is a pause and then a blonde woman calls out "ok, I will do it but please don't hit me so hard over my head with the bottle".
This elliptical isn't the only thing getting my heart rate up.
Well, a man was driving down a country road, and he decided to get out and get some fresh air. He got out, and started walking in a meadow. As he walked, he came upon a hole. Wanting to see how deep it was, he threw a pebble down. No sound. So he threw a medium-sized rock down. No sound. The man started to get frustrated, so he threw a boulder down. No sound. As he searched about, he spotted a railroad beam. He hauled it over to the hole, and shoved it in. No sound. He sat down on the ground, exhausted. Suddenly, he saw a goat running at him, full speed. He leaped up, and it brushed past him, and fell in the hole. He listened, but there was no sound. He sat down again. A few minutes later, a farmer came walking up. The man asked him, "How deep is this hole?" The farmer said, "Oh. Thats the bottomless pit. It never ends. Say, have you seen my prize goat?" The man, not wanting to get the blame, said, "No." The farmer said, "Oh well. He can't get far. He was tied to a railroad beam."
Chuck Norris has only used the 'Total Gym' twice in his life. When his eyes are open - and when they are closed.
Q: Why did the bodybuilder buy tape from the hardware store? A: Somebody told him he was ripped!