If Men Ruled the World... Laws:
Lifeguards could remove citizens from beaches for violating the "public ugliness" ordinance.
Car rental agencies would rent tanks.
Telephones would automatically cut off after 30 seconds of conversation.
It would be perfectly legal to steal a sports car as long as you returned it within 24 hours with a full tank of gas.
Get Out of Jail Free cards would be considered legal documents.
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A guy walks into an antique store and buys a grandfather clock, he walks out of the shop with it and accidentally walks into a drunk guy. (they both fall over and the clock gets smashed to bits)
The guy says to the drunk, "Why don't you watch where your going?" and the drunk says, "Why don't you carry a wrist watch like everybody else?"
What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
Men are like.....Lawn Mowers.
If you're not pushing one around, then you're riding it.
Why do jocks play on artificial turf?
To keep them from grazing.
Q: How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One. Men will screw anything.
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Camilla goes to the doctors and says "Doctor, whenever one sucks Charlie's cock one gets a stomach ache."
The doctor says "Have you tried Andrew's?"
In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.
In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.
In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.
It's Halloween and when the man answers his door, there's a well-dressed young boy there wearing a suit and matching tie, who says "Trick or treat".
The man's a bit confused so he asks the boy what he's dressed up as.
"I'm an IRS agent", says the boy, and with that, he snatches 40% of the candy, and leaves without saying thank you.
Three men go on a skiing trip, but when they get to the HOTEL they find out that the hotel have mucked up their rooms and they have to share one big bed.
When they wake up the guy on the left says I had a well strange dream last night that I was getting a hand job, and then the guy on the right goes thats strange O had the same dream I was getting a hand job.
Then the guy in the middle goes well thats strange because I had a dream I was skiing!
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