A man walking down the streets sees another man with a very big dog.
One man says to the other, "Does your dog bite?"
The man replies, "No my dog doesn't."
The man pats the dog and has his hand bitten off, "I thought you said your dog didn't bite" said the injured man.
"Thats not my dog", replied the other.
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Q: Why do men like blonde jokes?
A: Because they can understand them.
Q: When is the only time a guy can multi-task?
A: When he's watching porn, masturbating, and keeping an eye on the door at the same time...
Vote:
A man walked into the doctor's office and said: "Doc, I've eaten something that disagrees with me."
A voice from his stomach replies: "No you haven't."
What is a man's idea of helping with housework?
Lifting his leg so you can vacuum.
Bigamy is having one husband too many.
Some say monogamy is the same.
This man was talking to a group of men at a bar and he said, "In my house I am the boss, I say when the laundry is done and when the cooking is made and when the dishes are washed."
One of the guys at the table said, "How long have you been married?"
The man says, "Oh I'm not married I'm single!"
A man goes to his doctor and says, “I don’t think my wife’s hearing isn’t as good as it used to be.
What should I do?”
The doctor replies, “Try this test to find out for sure.
When your wife is in the kitchen doing dishes, stand fifteen feet behind her and ask her a question, if she doesn’t respond keep moving closer asking the question until she hears you.”
The man goes home and sees his wife preparing dinner.
He stands fifteen feet behind her and says, “What’s for dinner, honey?
He gets no response, so he moves to ten feet behind her and asks again.
Still no response, so he moves to five feet. Still, no answer.
Finally he stands directly behind her and says, “Honey, what’s for dinner?” She replies, “For the fourth time, I SAID CHICKEN!”
Did you hear about the man who spent too much of his company's money on Viagra?
Now he's hard up.
Question: Why do men die before their wives?
Answer: Because they want to.
