Joke #3653

A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. Three years later, there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says "What the hell was that all about?"
Vote:
has 64.78 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: men

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Q: Why do men fart louder than women? A: because they have a microphone and two speakers.
Vote:
has 78.50 % from 208 votes. More jokes about: dirty, disgusting, fart, men, women
A man had a party where all the rich people attend. And the he had a pool with alligators. So he announced that anyone who will swim across this pool and come out alive will be granted three wishes. But no one wanted to go for the challenge. All of a sudden, there was a big splash and a man was swimming like a hell and came out alive. So the host asked, "What are your three wishes?" The man replied, "Give me the shotgun and bulllets and show me the idiot that pushed me in..."
Vote:
has 70.78 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: animal, men, party
One day Mrs. Smith went to have a talk with the minister at thelocal church. "Reverend," she said, "I have a problem, my husband keeps falling asleep during your sermons. It’s very embarrassing. What should I do?" "I have an idea," said the minister. "Take this needle with you. I will be able to tell when Mr. Smith is sleeping, and I will motion to you at specific times. When I motion, you give him a good poke in the leg." In church the following Sunday, Mr. Smith dozed off. Noticing this, the preacher put his plan to work. "And who made the ultimate sacrifice for you?" he said, nodding to Mrs. Jones. "Jesus!", Jones cried as his wife jabbed him the leg with the needle. "Yes, you are right, Mr. Smith," said the minister. Soon, Mr.Smith nodded off again. Again, the minister noticed. "Who is your redeemer?" he asked the congregation, motioning towards Mrs. Smith. "God!" Mr. Smith cried out as he was stuck again with the needle. "Right again," said the minister, smiling. Before long, Mr.Smith again winked off. However, this time the minister did not notice. As he picked up the tempo of his sermon, he made a few motions that Mrs. Smith mistook as signals to prod her husband with the needle again. The minister asked, "And what did Eve say to Adam after she bore him his 99th son?" Mrs. Smith poked her husband, who yelled, "You stick that goddamned thing in me one more time and I’ll break it in half and shove it up your a***s!" "Amen," replied the congregation.
Vote:
has 70.70 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: church, god, husband, men, work
He: Since I first laid eyes on you, I've wanted to make love to you in the worst way. She: Well, you succeeded.
Vote:
has 34.87 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: men
Men are like.....Weather. Nothing can be done to change either one of them.
Vote:
has 35.23 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: men, weather
A little boy was attending his first wedding. After the service, his cousin asked him, "How many women can a man marry?" "Sixteen," the boy responded. His cousin was amazed that he had an answer so quickly. "How do you know that?" "Easy," the little boy said. "All you have to do is add it up, like the Bishop said: 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer"
Vote:
has 53.47 % from 192 votes. More jokes about: marriage, math, men, wedding, women
Question: Why do men die before their wives? Answer: Because they want to.
Vote:
has 63.26 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: death, men, wife, women
Man to a woman: "Do you know the difference between a blowjob and a cheeseburger is?" Woman: "No." Man: "Lets have lunch sometime…"
Vote:
has 57.35 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: men, sex, women
One guy says to a bald guy "Your hair ran away to find someone with a brain."
Vote:
has 45.29 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: insulting, mean, men, stupid
Boy: "You know unlike all these other guys, I can make you really happy" Girl: "Why are you leaving?"
Vote:
has 67.78 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: flirt, mean, men, women