"Lisa, why are you so angry with me?"
"Because I'm Christine."
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Genie: I will grant you two wishes.
Guy: two? It's always three, right?
Genie: look at your crotch.
Guy: Damn, that's a huge dick that I have now.
Genie: I've been doing this for centuries. I know my business.
A man goes into a florist and says, "I want to buy some flowers for my girlfriend".
"Certainly sir", she responds, "and what in particular are you after"?
After some thought, the man answers, "a shag".
What's a man's idea of honesty in a relationship?
Telling you his real name.
Vote:
Do you know why bankers are good lovers?
They know first hand the penalty for early withdrawal.
How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts a sentence with, "A man once told me..."
Two friends meet each other on the street.”Hello! Where are you coming from?” asked Bill.”
Oh, don’t ask me! I’m coming from the cemetery.
I just buried my mother-in-law” replied Sid.
”I’m so sorry!” said Bill, “But why is your face scratched all over?”.
”It wasn’t so easy!” said Sid, “She put on a hell of a fight!”
They put one man on the moon.
Why can’t they put them all there?
What do you call a woman that works like a man??
Lazy.
What's the Australian Male's idea of foreplay?
"Brace yourself, Sheila."
Three men were at a bar discussing coincidences.
The first man said, "My wife was reading A Tale of Two Cities and she gave birth to twins."
"That’s funny," the second man remarked, "My wife was reading The Three Musketeers and she gave birth to triplets."
The third man shouted, "Oh my, I have to rush home!"
When asked what the problem was, he exclaimed, "When I left the house, my wife was reading Ali Baba and the Forty Thieves!"