What went through the fly's mind as he hit the windshield? His Butt!
Why should you only put 239 beans in bean soup? Cuz one more will make it "too farty!"
Q: Why do farts smell? A: So deaf people can enjoy them, too.
What do you get when you cross Billy Ray Cyrus with a yeast infection? An itchy, twitchy twat!
An elderly gentleman went to see his doctor and asked for a prescription of Viagra. The doctor said, “That’s no problem. How many do you want?” The man answered, “Just a few, maybe 4, but cut each one in 4 pieces.” The doctor said, “That won’t do you any good.” The elderly gentleman said, “That’s all right. I don’t need them for sex anymore as I am over 90 years old. I just want it to stick out far enough so I don’t pee on my shoes.”
Three little old ladies were sitting on a park bench when a flasher came by in only an overcoat and opened it as wide as it could go. The first little old lady had a stroke, the second little old lady also had a stroke, but the third little old lady couldn't reach.
Five liters of bean soup for dinner – let´s spend the night with the gas mask!
Q: How do you know that a dead body found by the side of the road is a nurse? A: Because its stomach is empty, its bladder is full, and its ass chewed!
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? Bob. On the wall? Art. On the floor? Matt.
Did you hear about the midget that went into the whorehouse? He got a twat in the face.