Joke #6728

What went through the fly's mind as he hit the windshield? His Butt!
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has 59.80 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: disgusting

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A drunk guy is sitting at a bar by himself one night and throws up all over the front of his shirt. "Oh great, my wife is going to kill me," he mumbles to himself. The guy sitting next to him sees what has happened and leans over towards him, "Hey buddy, just put a twenty dollar bill in your shirt pocket and when you get home tell your wife the guy sitting next to you threw up on you and he gave you $20 to get your shirt cleaned." Completely inebriated the drunk man thanks his new friend and puts a twenty in his shirt pocket and heads for home. As soon as he walks through the front door his wife becomes irate and starts yelling at him, "Where have you been? you're completely drunk and you're a mess. Look at yourself, you puked all over the front of your shirt." Completely wasted and slurring his words he explains to the wife, "No no, the guy sitting next to me threw up on my shirt and he gave me $20 to get it cleaned. Look, it's right here in my shirt pocket." The wife reaches into his pocket and pulls out the money, "There's $40 in here." "Oh yeah, he shit in my pants too."
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has 76.54 % from 137 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, dirty, disgusting
Q: What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming? A: Gulp.
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has 27.71 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, elephant
Boy Monster: Did you get the big red heart I sent you for Valentine's? Girl Monster: Yes, I did. Thank you. Boy Monster: Is it still beating?
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has 35.78 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, Valentines day
What’s the difference between a dead baby and an onion. You don’t cry when you chop up a dead baby.
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has 37.14 % from 292 votes. More jokes about: black humor, dead baby, disgusting, morbid
Q: Did you hear about the annoying midget who went to a nudist colony? A: He kept getting in everyone's hair.
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has 48.26 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
One night as a bartender is closing up his bar, he hears a knock at the back door. When he opens the door, there stands a bum who asks, "Can I have a toothpick?" The bartender gives him a toothpick and continues cleaning up his bar. Five minutes later, he hears another knock at the door. Again, there stands another bum who asks, "Can I have a toothpick?" The bartender gives him a toothpick and continues cleaning up the bar. Five minutes later, he hears another knock at the back door. This time, there's a bum asking for a straw. The owner gives him a straw, but finally asks what's going on out there. The bum replies, "Some lady threw up in the back, but all the good stuff is gone."
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has 11.58 % from 137 votes. More jokes about: bar, bartender, disgusting
What's funner then nailing bin Laden to a tree? Feeding his lifeless corpse into a meat grinder.
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has 26.83 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, disgusting, war
There was this man who had a dog. Every Sunday morning at 4:30 AM the man and the dog would go fishing. One day, the man fell in love and got married. After the wedding, when the man and the woman got in bed together, the man turned to the woman. "Tomorrow is Sunday and every Sunday morning, me and my dog go fishing at 4:30 AM. We'd like you to come along." "And what if I don't want to come along?" the woman asked impatiently. "Well then, sweetie, we'll just have to have buttsex." With that, the man rolled over and fell asleep, and left the woman pondering. "God, I hate having the buttsex, but I also hate getting up so early. I'll have to think about this more." In the morning, the woman could hear the man going downstairs to get the dog. It was much too early for the woman to get up so she decided to wait for the inevitable buttsex. She waited for about half an hour and fell back asleep, thinking her husband had left already. She awoke to the man, pulling on her arm. "Have you made your decision?" he asked "Yes," she replied. "I do not want to go fishing." True to his word, the man pulled down his pants. "By the way, what took you so long to come upstairs? It usually doesn't take that long to get Sparky up." "I know," the man said. "He didn't want to go either."
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has 72.62 % from 87 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, dog, fish, time
Two guys narrowly escaped from a sinking ship on a life raft and discovered a magic lamp tucked away in a dark cranny. Figuring what the hell, one of the men gave the lamp a rub and "poof," a cloud of smoke. A second later, a genie appeared and said, "I will grant each of you one wish." After thinking a while, the first man turned to the genie and said, "I wish I were floating on an ocean of beer." The genie granted the man's wish and disappeared. The man's companion turned to him and said, "Way to go idiot. Now we have to pee in the boat."
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has 51.61 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: beer, disgusting, genie, life
Friend 1: "I like my women how I like my milk." Friend 2: "What? White?" Friend 1: "No, expired."
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has 52.81 % from 79 votes. More jokes about: communication, disgusting, friendship, white people, wife