Joke #6695

When is a door sweet and tasty? When its jammed!
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This Christmas, Santa is sending a message to the naughty children to stop being bad. He stuffing their stocking with Chuck Norris!
Vote: has 57.36 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

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A Sunday school teacher asked her little children, as they were on the way to church service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?" One bright little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping."
Vote: has 63.75 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

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Teacher: What's 2 and 2? Pupil: 4 Teacher: That's good. Pupil: Good? That's perfect!
Vote: has 65.73 % from 65 votes. Send joke:

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Q: What happens if you eat yeast and shoe polish? A: Every morning you'll rise and shine!
Vote: has 76.49 % from 559 votes. Send joke:

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Q: Why doesn't Smokey the bear have any kids? A: Because every time his wife gets hot, he covers her with dirt and beats her with a shovel.
Vote: has 64.05 % from 42 votes. Send joke:

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The houseman invited over his boss and partners, for lunch. With them, his little 5year-old daughter was there. "Don’t you want to say the prayers before lunch, so Our Holly Father give us his blessings?," asks the father. "But... I don’t know what to say...," the little girl admits. "Just say what you heard your mommy say last time inside the kitchen!," said her mother to help her. And the girl: "Oh, God! Why in this life, my husband must invite all these people for lunch?"
Vote: has 65.16 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

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A kid walks up to his teacher and says "When is lunch." The teacher said "When its my break." "Your break for what? the kid asks. "My break up" the teacher said.
Vote: has 69.19 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, kids, relationship, teacher, time
A guy has a bad habit: He loves to hit pedestrians while he drives. So one day he's driving andsees an old lady with a cane and he decides to control his urge to swerve and hit her but he can't. Later, he sees a kid skating and can't resist hitting the kid. Finally, he decides he needs help from above so he goes to a church and asks the pastor for help. So after church, the pastor invites him to his house for lunch. They get in the car and start to drive down the street, and just as he starts to tell the pastor about his problem, he sees an old blind man walking down the street. He swerves toward him but misses, and the pastor says, "Don't worry. I got him with the door!"
Vote: has 69.22 % from 73 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, car, church, kids, love
Q: What is a banana's favorite gymnastic move? A: The splits!
Vote: has 64.28 % from 25 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, gym, kids, sport
Two guys meet: "Where were you lost my friend? says one of them." "Well, I took my kids to the zoo..." "And what kind of animals did you see there?" "The tiger... Huge and Scary! Full of stripes... Slowly walking inside the cage. She was “ahgrrr...” "Are you kidding me men? The tiger doesn’t go “ahgrrr..” … She “grrrrsss..”! "Right, ok.. But when you get too close to her face... !"
Vote: has 14.16 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, kids