How many lawyers dose it take to change a light bulb? 3, 1 to climb the ladder, 1 to shake it, and 1 to sue the ladder company.
One day, there was this lawyer who had just bought a new car, and he was eager to show it off to his colleagues, when all of a sudden an eighteen wheeler came out of nowhere and took of the driver's side door with him standing right there. "NOOO!" he screamed, because he knew that no matter how good a mechanic tried to fix it, it never would be the same. Finally, a cop came by, and the lawyer ran up to him yelling. "MY JAGUAR DOOR WAS JUST RUINED BY SOME FOOLISH DRIVER!" he exclaimed. "Your a lawyer aren't you?" asked the policeman. "Yes, I am, but what does this have to do with my car?" the lawyer asked. "HA! Your lawyers are always so materialistic. All you care about is your possessions. I bet you didn't even notice that your left arm is missing did you?" the cop said. The lawyer looked down at his side and exclaimed "MY ROLEX!"
A jury consists of twelve people chosen to decide who has the best lawyer.
How many blonde does it take to change a lightbulb? A: 3. One to hold the lightbulb and two to turn the ladder.
Q: How Many White People Does it Take To Screw In a Lightbulb? A: None, they get a nigger to do it.
Q: How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: One. Men will screw anything.
How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1001.....1 to hold the light bulb and 1000 to turn the house.
How do you prevent a Lawyer from drowning? Shoot him before he hits the water!
Where do rabbits settle their legal disputes? In a pellet court!
Why do they bury lawyers in 20ft holes? Because deep down they’re all really nice guys.
How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one, but he is never around when you need him.