Joke #5191

A man took his pregnant wife to the hospital. The doctor looked her over and told them it would be a rather difficult delivery. He offered to let the couple try an experimental procedure. The woman would be connected to a machine that would transfer part of the pain to the father of the baby, thus reducing her own. The man quickly agreed. The doctor warned him, though, that there was a slight bug in the machine that caused it to amplify the pain sent to the father by ten times, and if the pain became too much for to bear would he please let the doctor know. The doctor turned on the machine and watched the man. The man said he felt absolutely fine and he could take more. The doctor turned the dial up to 40, 60, 80, and finally 100% of the pain, times ten. The woman delivered the baby painlessly and the doctor stared at the man, astonished at how he could not even flinch with that much pain brought upon him. The couple took the new baby home. There, on the front step, the mailman lay dead.
Vote:
has 83.87 % from 546 votes. More jokes about: dirty

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

A little boy wakes up 3 nights in a row when he hears a thumping sound coming from his parents room. Finally one morning he goes to his mom and says, "Mommy, every night I hear you and daddy making noises and when I look in your bedroom you're bouncing up and down on him." His mom is taken by surprise and says, "Oh.. well.. ah.. well, I'm bouncing on his stomach because he's fat and that makes him thin again." And the boy says, "Well, that won't work!" His mom says, "Why?" And the boy replies, "Because the lady next door comes by after you leave each day and blows him back up."
Vote:
has 70.43 % from 88 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Q: What's the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms? A: One's a Goodyear. The other's a great year.
Vote:
has 70.70 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: dirty, sex, time, vulgar
What is difference between woman and condom? None :-) Both of them spend more time in your wallet...than on your d*ck !
Vote:
has 65.39 % from 71 votes. More jokes about: dirty
A little boy about nine or ten, was siting on Santa's lap. Santa pointed his finger in the boys face, and said, " George I know what you want for Christmas! A T-O-Y." "Nope!" replied George. Then again, pointing his finger in the boys face, "You want C-A-N-D-Y." "Nope!" replied George. "Then just what the hell do you want," ask Santa. George looked Santa in the face, pointing his finger, "I want some P-U-S-S-Y! And don't tell me that you don't have any. Because I can smell it on your finger!"
Vote:
has 80.61 % from 266 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Husband always insisted on making love in the dark. After 20 years wife turns on the light, finds him holding a vibrator. She goes balistic, "You impotent bas*ard! How could you lie to me all these years?" Husband looks her straight in the eyes & calmly says, "I'll explain the toy, you explain the kids....."
Vote:
has 85.16 % from 993 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Q: How many gays does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: None because they screw each other the dirty fucks.
Vote:
has 48.37 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: dirty, gay, light bulb
What's long, hard, and shoots sticky white stuff? A penis. What were you thinking you clean minded bastard.
Vote:
has 56.57 % from 127 votes. More jokes about: dirty
While doing a vasectomy, the doctor slipped and cut off one of the man’s balls. To avoid a huge malpractice suit, he decided to replace the missing testicle with a pickled onion. Several weeks later, the patient returned for a checkup. “How’s your sex life?” asked the doctor. “Pretty good,” the man said, to the doctor’s obvious relief. But then the patient added, “I’ve had some strange side effects that are causing serious problems.” “What’s that?” the doctor asked anxiously. “Well, every time I urinate, my eyes water.” “Hmm,” said the doctor, thoughtfully. “That’s not all,” continued the patient. “When my wife does me orally, she gets heartburn.” “Hmm,” said the doctor, as his face reddened. “It gets worse, Doc. Now, every time I pass a hamburger stand….I get an erection!”
Vote:
has 71.80 % from 76 votes. More jokes about: dirty, doctor, food, life, sex
Q: Have you tried Starbucks new hot beverage, Viagraccino? A: One cup and you're up all night.
Vote:
has 78.13 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: dirty, viagra
Mr. Smith's wife has been in a coma for four months. The nurses have come to realise that she moves every time they wash her crotch area. The doctors think hard about this. They bring in Mr. Smith and say that they have a good idea. Perhaps if he practices oral sex with her she will wake out of the coma. Mr. Smith would do anything so he asks for some privacy. He soon rushes out saying: "I think she's choking!"
Vote:
has 61.59 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: dirty