Joke #4821

What do you get when you take two hookers to Red Lobster? 10% off for bringing your own crabs.
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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing, you already told her twice.
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My colleague said to me, "I bet you can't see your dick when you look down in the shower." "No, just your daughter's head," I replied.
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One day Little Timmy caught his mom and dad having sex. Little Timmy asks his dad "Can I join you?" His dad asks "Can your dick touch your ass?" Timmy replies "No." "Then no." Dad replies. Later on he catches his dad looking at porn. Timmy asks "Can I look with you Daddy?" His dad asks again "Can your dick touch your ass?" "No." "Then no." Later that night Little Timmy is eating cookies. His dad walks into the kitchen and asks "Can I have a cookie?" Timmy asks "Can your dick touch your ass?" His dad replies "Yes." "Then go fuck yourself these cookies are mine!"
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What is the same with spreading butter on a toast and getting a woman to spread her legs? It is possible with a credit card, but much easier with a knife.
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My girlfriends dad asked me what I do. Apparently, "your daughter" wasn't the right answer.
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Two doctors are having s*x, he says to her, "You must be a surgeon, you washed your hands before and after." She replies, "Well you must be an anesthetist, because I didn't feel a f*cking thing!"
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Once a blonde wanted to go to her boyfriend's home. Her mom advised her: "My sweet whenever your boy friend wanted to touch your pants tell him there is a hot oven so your hand will burn." Next day her mom asked her daughter: "Had you a good day?" The blonde answered: "It was the best day in my life because when my boyfriend touched my pants I told him: 'There is a hot oven and your hand would damage!' But he urged me that I've one hot dog and I wanna to cook it for several times he put his hot dog in my pants and then he put it in my mouth for confident whether it has been cooked or not."
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Q. Why doesn't Santa have any children? A. Because he only comes once a year, and when he does, it's down the chimney.
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What do you call a lesbian dinosaur A lickalotopis
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Two boys go into a forest and walk around. Suddenly they see a naked women, then one of the boys run away. The other chases after him. The boy asked "Why did u run away?" The other said "My mom told me if i saw a naked women i'd turn to stone, i already felt something getting getting hard."
Vote: has 83.97 % from 718 votes. Send joke:

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