Joke #6778

Q: Do you know the punishment for bigamy? A: Two mothers-in-law.
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has 83.54 % from 301 votes. More jokes about: marriage, mother in law

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The newlywed wife said to her husband when he returned from work, “I have great news for you. Pretty soon, we’re going to be three in this house instead of two.” Her husband ran to her with a smile on his face and delight in his eyes. He was glowing of happiness and kissing his wife when she said, “I’m glad that you feel this way since tomorrow morning, my mother moves in with us.”
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has 80.40 % from 481 votes. More jokes about: husband, marriage, mother in law, wife, work
A man is driving with his wife at his side and his mother-in-law in the backseat. The women just won’t leave him alone. His mother-in-law says, "You’re driving too fast!" His wife says, "Stay more to the left." After ten mixed orders, the man turns to his wife and asks, "Who’s driving this car – you or your mother?"
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has 79.60 % from 414 votes. More jokes about: car, marriage, mother in law, wife
Knock, knock Who's there? I'm Mr, Farter. Mr, Farter who? I've brought some insecticides to give to your mother in law!
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has 66.27 % from 364 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, knock-knock, mother in law
Toilets are like mothers-in-law: the farther away the better.
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has 52.38 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: life, mother in law
3 Stages of Sex: 1. House Sex - When you are newly married and have sex all over the house, in every room. 2. Bedroom Sex - After you've been married for a while and you just have sex in the bedroom. 3. Hall Sex - After you've been married for many years, and you just pass each other in the hall and say, "F**k you!"
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has 71.16 % from 66 votes. More jokes about: life, marriage, sex
If you want to drive your wife crazy don’t talk in your sleep, just smile.
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has 62.80 % from 81 votes. More jokes about: marriage
What is the difference between turkey and mother-in-law? There is no difference: both are the best when they are cold on the table.
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has 29.27 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: animal, black humor, food, mother in law
During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approached the Bishop with an unusual offer: "Look, I'll give you $100 if you'll change the wedding vows. When you get to the part where I'm supposed to promise to 'love, honor and obey' and 'be faithful to her forever,' I'd appreciate it if you'd just leave that out." He passed the minister a $100 bill and walked away satisfied. On the day of the wedding, when it came time for the groom's vows, the Bishop looked the young man in the eye and said: "Will you promise to prostrate yourself before her, obey her every command and wish, serve her breakfast in bed every morning of your life, and swear eternally before God and your lovely wife that you will not ever even look at another woman, as long as you both shall live?" The groom gulped and looked around, and said in a tiny voice, "Yes," then leaned toward the Bishop and hissed: "I thought we had a deal." The Bishop put a $100 bill into the groom's hand and whispered: "She made me a better offer."
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has 32.62 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: marriage, money, wedding
An old woman buys herself some bright red crotchless panties and goes home to surprise her husband. When her husband comes home, she calls him into the bedroom and points to her new panties. "Hey old timer," she says, "come and get some of this!" The old man says, "Hell no, woman. It done ate a hole in your drawers!"
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has 33.50 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: marriage
Losing a wife can be hard. In most cases, it’s damned near impossible.
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has 84.86 % from 313 votes. More jokes about: marriage