Joke #6778

Q: Do you know the punishment for bigamy? A: Two mothers-in-law.
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has 82.27 % from 241 votes. More jokes about: marriage, mother in law

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The newlywed wife said to her husband when he returned from work, “I have great news for you. Pretty soon, we’re going to be three in this house instead of two.” Her husband ran to her with a smile on his face and delight in his eyes. He was glowing of happiness and kissing his wife when she said, “I’m glad that you feel this way since tomorrow morning, my mother moves in with us.”
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has 81.54 % from 429 votes. More jokes about: husband, marriage, mother in law, wife, work
A man is driving with his wife at his side and his mother-in-law in the backseat. The women just won’t leave him alone. His mother-in-law says, "You’re driving too fast!" His wife says, "Stay more to the left." After ten mixed orders, the man turns to his wife and asks, "Who’s driving this car – you or your mother?"
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has 80.36 % from 347 votes. More jokes about: car, marriage, mother in law, wife
I can remember where I got married. I can remember when I got married. I just can’t remember why.
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has 85.57 % from 178 votes. More jokes about: marriage
Overheard in a restaurant: She: "This wine is described as full bodied and imposing with a nutty base, a sharp bite, and a bitter aftertaste." He: "Are you describing the wine or your mother?"
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has 61.25 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, mother in law, wine
A man phones home from the office and tells his wife, "Something has just come up. I need to go fishing with the boss for the weekend. We leave right away, so can you pack my clothes, my fishing equipment, and my blue silk pajamas? I'll be home in an hour to pick them up." He hurries home, grabs everything and rushes off. Sunday night, he returns. His wife asks, "Did you have a good trip?" "Oh yes, great! I think I really impressed the boss. But you forgot to pack my blue silk pajamas." "Oh, no I didn't. I put them in your tackle box."
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has 52.05 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: fish, marriage, phone, wife
Q: What is the worst thing an emergency doctor can tell you after admitting your MIL? A: Sir, we were able to save her!
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has 74.94 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: black humor, doctor, life, mother in law
I never knew happiness till I got married. By then it was too late.
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has 81.28 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: marriage, mean, time
One night my mother in law came to our home. In the middle of the night suddenly I was awakened by a horrible sound from WC. She farted. I was so angry that shouted and said: "Your food is under your feet and your weapons are complete get out and go to fight with ISIS!"
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has 72.42 % from 413 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, fart, mother in law, terrorist, war
A young lad is sitting at the table doing his homework. Dad, he says, "What is the difference between 'potentially' & 'realistically'"? Father scratches his chin, inhales sharply and says,"That's a tough one; it's probably easier to demonstrate. Go & ask your mother if she would sleep with the milkman for 1 million quid; then ask your sister the same question" ... 2 minutes later, the lad is back. "Dad, they both said for 1 million quid...? Definitely!" Well son, says the old man, "There is your answer; potentially, we are sitting on 2 million quid; realistically, we are living with a pair of slags..!
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has 51.86 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: age, marriage, work
I got really love sick the other day working away from home. Went to the doctors and they said it was chlamydia.
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has 26.97 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: doctor, marriage