Joke #6778

Q: Do you know the punishment for bigamy? A: Two mothers-in-law.
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has 82.93 % from 290 votes. More jokes about: marriage, mother in law

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The newlywed wife said to her husband when he returned from work, “I have great news for you. Pretty soon, we’re going to be three in this house instead of two.” Her husband ran to her with a smile on his face and delight in his eyes. He was glowing of happiness and kissing his wife when she said, “I’m glad that you feel this way since tomorrow morning, my mother moves in with us.”
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has 80.63 % from 470 votes. More jokes about: husband, marriage, mother in law, wife, work
A man is driving with his wife at his side and his mother-in-law in the backseat. The women just won’t leave him alone. His mother-in-law says, "You’re driving too fast!" His wife says, "Stay more to the left." After ten mixed orders, the man turns to his wife and asks, "Who’s driving this car – you or your mother?"
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has 78.87 % from 389 votes. More jokes about: car, marriage, mother in law, wife
A dietician was once addressing a large audience in Chicago. “The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is awful. Vegetables can be disastrous, and none of us realises the germs in our drinking water. But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all eat it. Can anyone here tell me what lethal product I’m referring to?” “You, sir, in the first row, please give us your idea.” The man lowered his head and said, “Wedding cake.”
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has 84.94 % from 352 votes. More jokes about: food, marriage
Yo mama is so stupid she married a carpenter just to get nailed.
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has 56.98 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: marriage, stupid, Yo mama
Q: What is a difference between "accident " and "tragedy"? A: Suppose you with the family are beside a pool. You suddenly push your mother in law into the pool - so it's an accident. If she could swim and gets out, in that case, it's a tragedy!
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has 81.93 % from 230 votes. More jokes about: family, life, mean, mother in law
Remember your wife is a romantic who still loves flowers and chocolates. Show her you remember as well by referring to them occasionally.
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has 25.67 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: chocolate, marriage, memory, romantic
“Oh, I sure am glad to see you,” the little boy said to his grandmother (on his mother’s side). “Now Daddy will do the trick he’s been promising us.” The grandmother was curious. “What trick is that?” she asked. “He told Mommy that he’d climb the walls if you came to visit,” answered the boy.
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has 59.75 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: mother in law, old people
10 things men don't say 1)Let's watch Lifetime. 2)Sex is overrated. 3)I don't want to go too far on the first date. 4)Yes, your sister does have bigger breasts than you. 5)Don't we owe your mother a visit? 6)I'm relieved I don't have a large penis weighing me down. 7)Dessert goes right to my hips. 8)I hate when I miss Oprah. 9)Does this suit make me look fat? 10)I'll never get tired of listening to Dido.
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has 31.97 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: men, mother in law, music, sex
Toilets are like mothers-in-law: the farther away the better.
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has 52.38 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: life, mother in law
A doctor told his patient that his test results indicated that she had a rare disease and had only six months to live. "That's such a short amount of time, doctor. Isn't there anything I can do?" pleaded the patient. "Marry a lawyer," the doctor advised. "It will be the longest six months of your life."
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has 66.18 % from 83 votes. More jokes about: doctor, health, lawyer, marriage, time