Joke #6778

Q: Do you know the punishment for bigamy? A: Two mothers-in-law.

The newlywed wife said to her husband when he returned from work, “I have great news for you. Pretty soon, we’re going to be three in this house instead of two.” Her husband ran to her with a smile on his face and delight in his eyes. He was glowing of happiness and kissing his wife when she said, “I’m glad that you feel this way since tomorrow morning, my mother moves in with us.”

A man is driving with his wife at his side and his mother-in-law in the backseat. The women just won’t leave him alone. His mother-in-law says, "You’re driving too fast!" His wife says, "Stay more to the left." After ten mixed orders, the man turns to his wife and asks, "Who’s driving this car – you or your mother?"

A man met a wonderful woman and became engaged to her. He called his mother to share his good news with her. He arranged to have dinner with his mother that evening so that she could meet his fiancee. When he arrived at her home, he brought along three women - a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. His mother inquired as to why he had brought three women, instead of just one. He replied that he wanted to see if his mother would be able to guess which one of the women was her future daughter-in-law. She looked at each one carefully and then replied: "It's the redhead." "How could you possibly have figured that out so quickly?" he inquired. She coldly replied, "Because I can't stand her."

A couple came upon a wishing well. The husband leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny. The wife decided to make a wish, too. But she leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned. The husband was stunned for a while but then smiled and said, “It really works!”

HOW did an Intelligent BOY PROPOSE to a Girl. He TOOK the Girl ALONG with him on a BOAT & in the MIDDLE of River said: "LOVE ME or LEAVE the BOAT."

At St. Peter's Catholic Church in Toronto , they have weekly husband's marriage seminars. At the session last week, the priest asked Giuseppe, who said he was approaching his 50th wedding anniversary, to take a few minutes and share some insight into how he had managed to stay married to the same woman all these years. Giuseppe replied to the assembled husbands, "Wella, I'va tried to treat her nicea, spenda da money on her, but besta of all is, I tooka her to Italy for the 25th anniversary!" The priest responded, "Giuseppe, you are an amazing inspiration to all the husbands here! Please tell us what you are planning for your wife for your 50th anniversary?" Giuseppe proudly replied, " I gonna go pick her up."

Toilets are like mothers-in-law: the farther away the better.

One night my mother in law came to our home. In the middle of the night suddenly I was awakened by a horrible sound from WC. She farted. I was so angry that shouted and said: "Your food is under your feet and your weapons are complete get out and go to fight with ISIS!"

My mother in law's farts are so horrible that I can rent her to governments for using instead of chemical weapons for destroying their enemies!

A little boy was attending his first wedding. After the service, his cousin asked him, "How many women can a man marry?" "Sixteen," the boy responded. His cousin was amazed that he had an answer so quickly. "How do you know that?" "Easy," the little boy said. "All you have to do is add it up, like the Bishop said: 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer"