Q: What do you get when you cross a collie with a trumpet? A: A Lassie who plays brassie!
Yo mama's so fat, Godzilla tried to f**k her and fell in.
A mother and baby camel are talking one day when the baby camel asks, "Mom why have I got these huge three-toed feet?" The mother replies, "Well son, when we trek across the desert your toes will help you to stay on top of the soft sand." "Okay," said the son. A few minutes later the son asks, "Mom, why have I got these great long eyelashes?" "They are there to keep the sand out of your eyes on the trips through the desert," "Thanks Mom," replies the son. After a short while, the son returns and asks, "Mom, why have I got these great big humps on my back?" The mother, now a little impatient with the boy replies, "They are there to help us store fat for our long treks across the desert, so we can go without water for long periods." "That's great mom, so we have huge feet to stop us sinking, and long eyelashes to keep the sand from our eyes and these humps to store water, but Mom ..." "Yes son?" "What good does all that do us here in the San Diego Zoo?"
How does an octopus go to war? Well-armed.
Why did the tadpole feel lonely? Because he was newt to the area.
What do you call a rabbit that plays with foxes? A dumb bunny.
What magazine makes cows stampede to the newsstand? Cows-mopolitan!
What game do little cows like to play? Moonopoly.
What's green and red? A very mad frog.
What happened to the lost cattle? Nobody's herd.
Q) What do you call a dog with no legs? A) It doesn't matter, he won't come!