Q: What do you get when you cross a collie with a trumpet? A: A Lassie who plays brassie!
What does a bunny use when it goes fishing? A harenet.
I saw some ducks practicing their teenage girl faces at the pond today.
Go to your back door and look for the dog. If the dog is at the door and he is wet, it's probably raining. But if the dog is standing there really soaking wet, it is probably raining really hard. If the dog's fur looks like it's been rubbed the wrong way, it's probably windy. If the dog has snow on his back, it's probably snowing. Of course, to be able to tell the weather like this, you have to leave the dog outside all the time, especially if you expect bad weather. Yours sincerely, The CAT
What do you call a tired cow? Milked out.
Q: Why don't they let Blondes swim in the ocean? A: Because they can't get the smell out of the tuna.
Why was the skunk angry? He was incensed.
How many animals can you get into a pair of tights? 10 little piggies, 2 calves, 1 beaver, 1 ass, 1 p*ssy, thousands of hares and a dead fish no one can ever find.
What is the difference between a man and a catfish? One is a bottom-feeding scum-sucker and the other is a fish.
Chuck Norris was once bitten by a venomous cobra .... After 5 days of excrutiating pain the cobra Eventually died
What is the golden rule for cows? Do unto udders as you would have udders do to you.