Joke #6892

Q: What do you get when you cross a collie with a trumpet? A: A Lassie who plays brassie!
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has 57.36 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: animal

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Q. Why don't lions eat clowns? A. Because they taste funny.
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has 45.52 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: animal
The mouse and the elephant pas together over a bridge, very proud the mouse says: Do you hear how the bridge vibrates under OUR footsteps?
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has 44.13 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, elephant
What kind of whale flies? Pilot whales.
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has 42.03 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: animal, fish
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first orders a beer, the second orders half a beer, the third orders a quarter of a beer, and so on. After the seventh order, the bartender pours two beers and says, "You fellas ought to know your limits."
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has 72.48 % from 120 votes. More jokes about: animal, bar, food, math
A police station gets 2 new horses and 2 cops are assigned to be mounted policemen. They go on a ride and come back pleased. "This horse is great! From now on I'll always take this one" said the first cop. "My horse's great too. So I'll always take it" replied the second cop. "But how do we know which is which?" They though for a minute or two and one of them came up with an idea. "Lets cut off this ones tail" The other cop agreed and the horse lost it's tail. The next morning The police chief is standing infront of the horses and looks really mad. The two cops see this and ask whats wrong. "You two morons cut off the horses tail that's what's wrong!" "But otherwise we couldn't tell them apart." "Can't you see the black one is a bit taller then the brown one?!"
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has 68.34 % from 153 votes. More jokes about: animal, cop
Q: How does a redneck tell the difference between a bull and a cow in the dark? A: He sticks his nose in the animal's ass. If there's a place for his tongue, it's a cow.
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has 48.20 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: animal, disgusting, redneck
How do rabbits get to work? By rabbit transit.
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has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal, work
The other night I was invited out for a night with "the girls." I told my husband that I would be home by midnight. "I promise!" Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easy. Around 3 a.m., a bit blitzed, I headed for home. Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hall started up and cuckooed 3 times. Quickly realizing my husband would probably wake up, I cuckooed another 9 times. I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution (even when totally smashed), in order to escape a possible conflict with him. The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in, and I told him midnight. He didn't seem disturbed at all. (Whew! Got away with that one!). Then he said, "We need a new cuckoo clock." When I asked him why, he said, "Well, last night our clock cuckooed 3 times, then said, "Oh, crap," cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another 3 times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the cat and farted."
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has 81.43 % from 711 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, animal, fart, husband, time
In Noah’s ark, on day 3 the animals could no longer hold their sexual desire, so they started having sex with one another. But Noah got really angry cause the Ark started shaking dangerously and he decided that it was time to put things in order. So he ordered that every male should get a card stating the name of his wife and the days they were allowed to mate. So they did… After a couple of days, during breakfast in the Ark’s cafeteria the monkey said to his wife: "You’ d better get ready ‘cause next Tuesday you’ll suffer cruelly!" The female monkey felt really ashamed because all of the animals heard her husband… The day after, the male monkey said to his wife again: "You’ d better get ready ‘cause next Tuesday you’ll suffer cruelly!" The female monkey feeling really confused, told Noah what had happened, so Noah called the male monkey in his office and asked for an explanation. “You kinky monkey! Why do you insist on disgracing your wife in front of all the other animals?” said Noah “I am not kinky sir”, said the monkey “I’m just warning her because I lost my card at a poker game and now the elephant has it…”
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has 75.54 % from 182 votes. More jokes about: animal, elephant, sex, wife
Q:What did the polar bear say when they saw tourists in sleeping bags? A:Mmmm, sandwiches!
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has 54.97 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal