Q: What do you get when you cross a collie with a trumpet?
A: A Lassie who plays brassie!
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Have you seen the offices of the RSPCA?
It’s tiny; you couldn’t swing a cat in there.
What's green with red spots?
A frog with the chicken pox!
Q: How do you know the Easter Bunny is really smart?
A: Because he's an egghead.
‘Cats have nine lives.
Which makes them ideal for experimentation.’
What do you call an affectionate rabbit?
A tender, loving hare.
What do you call explosive cow vomit?
A cud missle.
Why did the jellyfish's wife leave him?
He stung her into action.
While standing in front of the gorilla's cage, a gust of wind swept some dust into his eye. As he rubbed his eyelid, the gorilla went crazy, bent open the bars, and beat the guy senseless.
When the guy came to his senses, he reported the incident to the zookeeper. Nodding, the zookeeper explained that pulling down your eyelid means "Fuck you! " in gorilla language. The explanation didn't make the victim feel any better and he vowed revenge.
The next day he purchased two large knives, two party hats, two party horns, and a large sausage.
Putting the sausage in his pants, he hurried to the zoo and over to the gorilla's cage, where he tossed a hat, a knife, and a party horn.
Knowing that gorillas were natural mimics, he put on a party hat.
The gorilla looked at him, looked at the hat, and put it on. Next, he picked up his horn and blew on it. The gorilla picked up his horn and did the same.
Then the man picked up his knife, whipped the sausage out of his pants, and sliced it in half.
The gorilla looked at the knife, looked at his own crotch, looked at the man, and pulled down his eyelid."
How do you know that carrots are good for your eyesight?
Have YOU ever seen a rabbit with glasses?