What do you call a lion wearing a cravat and a flower in its mane?
A dandy lion.
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Who do you think would win in a fight? Godzilla or King Kong
Neither, Chuck Norris doesn't let his pets fight!
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Why did the bald man paint rabbits on his head?
Because from a distance they looked like hares.
What do you call a group of cattle sent into orbit?
The first herd shot round the world.
What did the blonde call her pet zebra?
Spot.
Sharks watch Chuck Norris week.
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A lady was walking down the street to work and she saw a parrot on a perch in front of a pet store.
The parrot said to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly."
Well, the lady is furious!
She stormed past the store to her work.
On the way home she saw the same parrot and it said to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly."
She was incredibly ticked now.
The next day the same parrot again said to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly."
The lady was so ticked that she went into the store and said that she would sue the store and kill the bird.
The store manager replied, "That's not good," and promised he wouldn't say it again.
When the lady walked past the store that day after work the parrot called to her, "Hey lady."
She paused and said, "Yes?" The bird said, "You know."
Chuck Norris and Jean-Claude Van Damme play tug a war with live annacondas.
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A lady goes into a bar with her goose.
Then the bartender comes up to her and says, "Why did you have to bring the pig in with you?"
Then the lady answered, "Excuse me, I think this is a goose."
And the bartender says, "Excuse me, I was talking to the goose."
What do you get when you mix human DNA with goat DNA?
Kicked out of the petting zoo.