What do you call a lion wearing a cravat and a flower in its mane? A dandy lion.
What do you get if you cross a cat with a gorilla? An animal that puts you out at night.
What's a cow's favorite moosical note? Beef-flat!
Did you hear about the snobby cow? She thought she was a cutlet above the rest.
A guy enters a bar carrying an alligator. Says to the patrons, "Here’s a deal. I'll open this alligator's mouth and place my genitals inside. The gator will close his mouth for one minute, then open it, and I'll remove my unit unscathed. If it works, everyone buys me drinks." The crowd agrees. The guy drops his pants and puts his privates in the gator's mouth. Gator closes mouth. After a minute, the guy grabs a beer bottle and bangs the gator on the top of its head. The gator opens wide, and he removes his genitals unscathed. Everyone buys him drinks. Then he says: "I'll pay anyone $100 who's willing to give it a try." After a while, a hand goes up in the back of the bar. It's a woman. "I'll give it a try," she says, "but you have to promise not to hit me on the head with the beer bottle."
Chuck Norris scares cows so bad, milk comes out their nose.
What is a Zebra? A Z-bra is 25 sizes bigger than an A-bra.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef. What do you call a dog with no legs? You don't because it won't come.
What’s the difference between cats and dogs? Dogs have owners, cats have staff.
Chuck Norris doesn’t ride a horse, he uses his crotch to carry it.
Q: What's the difference between a dead skunk lying in the road and a dead lawyer lying in the road? A: There are skid marks in front of the skunk.