Why was the young kangaroo thrown out by his mother?
For smoking in bed.
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The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
What's black and white and rolls down the Boardwalk?
A nigger and a seagull fighting over a French Fry.
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Two skunks observed a deer hunter sneaking through the woods with a rifle.
"I hope he's not going to shoot at us," said one skunk.
The second skunk bowed his head and said, "Let us spray."
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What kind of shoes do frogs wear?
Open toad!
Why did the bald man paint rabbits on his head?
Because from a distance they looked like hares.
The more people I meet, the more I like my cat.
What are cows favorite party games?
MOO-sical chairs.
What is the definition of "moon"?
The past tense of "moo"!
During a Papal audience, a business man approached the Pope and made this offer:
Change the last line of the Lord’s prayer from "give us this day our daily bread" to "give us this day our daily chicken" and KFC will donate 10 million dollars to Catholic charities.
The Pope declined.
2 weeks later the man approached the Pope again.
This time with a 50 million dollar offer.
Again the Pope declined.
A month later the man offers 100 million, this time the Pope accepts.
At a meeting of the Cardinals, The Pope announces his decision in the good news/bad news format.
The good news is… that we have 100 million dollars for charities.
The bad news is that we lost the Wonder Bread account!