Why was the young kangaroo thrown out by his mother?
For smoking in bed.
Similar jokes
See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.
Did you hear about the man who received a tip on a horse called Cigarette?
He didn't have enough money tabaccer!
How do you know that carrots are good for your eyesight?
Have YOU ever seen a rabbit with glasses?
A guy walks into a bar with a four-foot crocodile on a leash, following him like a dog.
The barman says gruffly: "No pets allowed here!"
The guy says, "But this is a trained crocodile. See what it can do!"
He sets the crocodile on a table and hits it on both ears.
The crocodile opens its jaws wide.
The guy unzips his pants, puts his pecker into the crocodile's jaws and hits the crocodile on the ears again.
The crocodile closes its jaws leaving just one-inch space, not touching the man's pecker.
Everybody in the bar is very impressed.
To build upon it, the guy declares: "I give a hundred dollars to anyone who does it!"
But everybody is afraid to - understandably, each would rather have an undamaged pecker than a hundred dollars.
Finally, a man wearing a pink suit, with an earring in one ear, says in an effeminate voice:
"I think I can do it!"
Everybody admires him, "What a brave man you are!"
The man continues, to the guy: "Just don't hit me so hard on the ears!"
What do you call a dumb bunny?
A hare brain.
Q: What did the seal say when found nuts in the sea?
A: "Look I found deep nuts."
Vote:
A guy goes into an antique shop.
He's browsing around the shop and comes across a brass rat.
He picks up the rat and is looking at it when the shop owner approaches him.
He asks the owner how much the Brass Rat is.
The shop owner says $20 For the rat and $10 for the story behind it.
The customers say I don't need to know the story but I'll buy the rat.
So he pays for the rat and leaves the shop.
After about 50 yards he hears a Wierd noise behind him and so looks around.
There's a bunch of rats following him so he picks up the pace a walks faster but the noise gets louder.
He glances behind and there are hundreds of rats following him so he starts to run.
Still, the noise gets louder and there are thousands of rats chasing him.
He comes to a bridge over the river and thinks the rats are chasing him because of the Brass Rat, he has so he throws the rat as far as he can into the river.
All the rats that were chasing him then all jump into the river and drown.
The guy thinks for a while and then walks back to the shop.
As he enters the shop the owner who saw him coming said I bet you came back for the story behind the Brass Rat did you?
The customer says no I didn't.
Have you got a brass Nigger?
Vote:
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with an elephant?
An elephant who never forgets to eat his carrots.
A man was driving down the road with twenty penguins in the back seat.
The police stop him and say that he can’t drive around with the penguins in the car and should take them to the zoo.
The man agrees and drives off.
The next day the same man is driving down the road with twenty penguins in the back and again.
He is stopped by the same police officer who says, "Hey! I though I told you to take those to the zoo."
The man replies "I did. Today I’m taking them to the movies."
Yo' Mama is so fat, she tried to eat her chicken pox.
Drunk man stumbles upstairs late at night and bursts through the bedroom door with a duck under his arm.
He announces to his now awake annoyed wife that "This is the pig I've been screwing."
The wife unimpressed said "You drunk arsehole... That's a duck".
The bloke looks down at the duck and then looks back up at his wife and says... "I was talking to the duck!"