Why was the young kangaroo thrown out by his mother?
For smoking in bed.
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When is a farmer like a magician?
When he turns his cow into pasture.
If God didn't want us to eat animals, he wouldn't have made them out of food.
An elephant goes to a camel and says why have you got a pair of tits on your back, the camel then replies that's a funny question coming from someone with a dick on their face.
Chuck Norris can make a turtle go faster.
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How can you tell a rabbit from a skunk?
A skunk uses a cheaper deodorant.
What do you call a poodle with no legs?
A sponge.
Chuck Norris Killed Medusa with a round house Kick.
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I went to the movie theater the other day and in the front row was an old man and with him was his dachshund.
It was a sad, funny kind of film.
In the sad part, the dachshund cried his eyes out, and in the funny part, the dachshund laughed its head off. This happened all the way through the film.
After the film had ended, I decided to go and speak to the man.
"That's the most amazing thing I've seen," I said.
"That dachshund really seemed to enjoy the film."
The man turned to me and said, "Yeah, it is. He hated the book."
Two men were walking along the street when they came upon a dog licking his dick.
One man said, "I sure wish I could do that."
The other replied, "You can, but you're probably going to have to pet him first."