Joke #10765

Why was the young kangaroo thrown out by his mother? For smoking in bed.

A man walks by a table in a casino and passes three men and a dog playing cards. ‘That’s a very smart dog,’ says the man. ‘He’s not so clever,’ says one of the players. ‘Every time he gets a good hand, he wags his tail.’

If toast always lands butter-side down and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast to the back of a cat and drop it?

A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.

Why did the farmer put brandy in the cow's food? He wanted to raised stewed beef.

More than anything, Bob wanted to be a cowpoke. Taking pity on him, a rancher decided to hire the lad and give him a chance. "This," he said, showing him a rope, "is a lariat. We use it to catch cows." "I see," said Bob, trying to seem knowledgeable as he examined the lariat. "And what do you use for bait?"

What is the difference between a crazy bunny and a counterfeit banknote? One is bad money and the other is a mad bunny.

The friend of my mother has taken look at the photo on which I was and has said: "yeah, the stepfather of Johny is a real expert of breeding of meaty pig types."

Chuck Norris Killed Medusa with a round house Kick.

Q: What do you get if you cross a bear with a toilet? A: Winnie the Pooh.

A man walked into his backyard one morning and found there was a gorilla in a tree. He called a gorilla-removal service, and soon a serviceman arrived with a stick, a Chihuahua, a pair of handcuffs and a shotgun. "Now listen carefully," he told the homeowner, "I'm going to climb the tree and poke the gorilla with this stick until he falls to the ground. The trained Chihuahua will then go right for his, uh, sensitive area, and when the gorilla instinctivly crosses his hands in front to protect himself, you slap the handcuffs on" "Ok, got it." the homeowner replied. "But whats that shotgun for?" "If I fall out of the tree before the gorilla," the man said, "shoot the Chihuahua."