Joke #10069

How did cows feel when the branding iron was invented? They were very impressed.
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has 63.66 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: animal

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I had a knock at my door earlier, it was a policeman… “Mr Cook?” “Yes,” I replied. “I’m afraid your dog has just been reported to have chased someone on a bike.” I said, “That’s bullshit – my dog doesn’t have a bike!”
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has 39.50 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal, cop, dog
Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.
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has 52.10 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: animal, car, Chuck Norris, time
How should you treat a baby goat? Like a kid.
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has 51.61 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: animal, baby, kids
A man and a woman were on a nude beach when a wasp flew into the woman's vagina. In a rush the guy pulled on his shorts, wrapped a towel around the woman, and ran to the hospital. When they got there the doctor said, "The only way I can think to get the wasp out is to slather some honey on my penis and lure it out." The doctor then offered his services for a mere $50. After a long pause, the couple agreed. The doctor happily slathered on some honey and went in. After a couple of thrusts the husband said, "Hey, what the hell is going on?" The doctor says, "Change of plans I'm going to drown the bastard."
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has 56.09 % from 209 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, doctor, marriage, sex
How do you make a cat be a dog? Pour gasoline on it and light it with a match. It will go 'WOOF.'
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has 13.02 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: animal, cat, dog
Q: What is a bee that cant make up his mind? A: A maybe.
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has 54.26 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q. Where do polar bears vote? A. The North Poll.
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has 55.87 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q: What do you call a cow that's had an abortion? A: De-calf-i-nated.
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has 30.41 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q: What does a cow make when the sun comes out? A: A shadow.
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has 41.84 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: animal
‘I spilled spot remover on my dog. Now he’s gone.’ Steven Wright
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has 50.70 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal