Joke #10069

How did cows feel when the branding iron was invented? They were very impressed.
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has 61.25 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: animal

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Walking into the bar, Mike said to Charlie the bartender… "Pour me a stiff one – just had another fight with the little woman." "Oh yeah?" said Charlie "And how did this one end?" "When it was over," Mike replied, "she came to me on her hands and knees." "Really," said Charles, "now that's a switch! What did she say?" "She said, 'Come out from under the bed, you little chicken.'"
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has 80.74 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, animal, bar, bartender, women
The mommy Cobra with her little son are taking a “walk”. The little cobra asks; "Mommy, are we poisonous?" "Yes, we are. Why you ask?" The little cobra asks again; "Are you sure that we’re poisonous?" "Yes I am!" says the mom with pride. The little one asks again; "Are you very very sure that we’re very poisonous?" "Damn sure! We’re the most poisonous snakes in the whole world! But why you ask?" The little cobra burst into tears; "Cause I bit my tongue a bit before!"
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has 64.88 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: animal
A rattle snake bit Chuck Norris in the leg and the snake died instantly!
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has 50.89 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, death
Q: What's meaner than a pit bull with herpes? A: The guy who gave it to him.
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has 46.54 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: animal, disgusting, health
What happened to the lizard in the wizard's garden pond? He had him newt-ered.
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has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal
Where did the mooron take the baby cow to eat? To the calf-ateria.
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has 47.37 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: animal
When God created the donkey, he said:"You’ll work day and night, and you’ll carry in your back heavy baggage. You’ll eat grass and you’ll have low IQ. You’ll be living for 50 years." "But my God, 50 years is a lot of time for that kind of life! Give me only 30." And so it happened. Then, God created the dog:"As a dog, you’ll guard man’s property and you’ll be his staunch/loyal friend. You’ll eat their left overs and you’ll be living for 25 years." "Oh, Mighty God. This kind of life is unbearable. Give me only 10 years to live, please." And so it happened. Then, God created the monkey:" You’ll jump around, tree to tree, and you’ll act like a fool so people can be entertained by you. You life will last 20 years." "No, God, please! Don’t let me suffer for that long. Give only 10 years to live." And so it happened. Last, God created the Man:"You’re a Man. You’re the only sensible being on the planet earth. You’ll use your inteligence to dominance the other creatures. You’ll be in charge. You’ll life will last 20 years." "But my one and only God, 20 years is not too long to achieve my goal. I beg you to give me the donkey’s 20 years, dog’s 15 years and monkeys 10 years." And so it happen. Since then men lives for 20 years as a man. Then, he gets married and works as a donkey for 20 years by carrying heavy baggage night and day. He haves children and lives as a dog, guarding the house and his property, eating family left overs. And when he grows old, he lives like a monkey. He’s his grandchildren entertainer by acting fool!
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has 69.85 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: animal, god, life, men
Why couldn't the rabbit fly home for Easter? He didn't have the hare fare.
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has 60.16 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: animal, easter
Ozzy Osbourne bites the heads off of bats. Chuck Norris bites the heads off of Siberian Tigers.
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has 52.77 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, disgusting, morbid, music
What's black and white, stinks and hangs from a line? A drip dry skunk.
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has 60.16 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: animal