What do you call a dinosaur that's a noisy sleeper?
A Brontosnorus.
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As horses say to one another.
Any friend of yours is a palomino!
Q: Why didn't Republicans save any of the black New Orleans residents from the flooding of Hurricane Katrina?
A: They were busy trying to get two of each animal for their ark first and couldn't catch that damned roadrunner.
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Q: What do you call a rooster who wakes you up at the same time every morning?
A: An alarm cluck!
A old snake goes to see his Doctor.
"Doc, I need something for my eyes...can't see well these days".
The Doc fixes him up with a pair of glasses and tells him to return in 2 weeks.
The snake comes back in 2 weeks and tells the doctor he's very depressed.
Doc says, "What's the problem...didn't the glasses help you?"
"The glasses are fine doc, I just discovered I've been living with a water hose the past 2 years!"
What do you get when you cross an Owl and a Rooster?
A cock that stays up all night.
A Democrat walks into a doctor's office with a frog sitting on his head.
The frog looks at the doctor and says, "Hey doc, can you get this wart off my ass?
Q: Why don't seagulls fly over the bay?
A: Because then they'd be bay gulls.
Q: What is the difference between an alligator and a crocodile?
A: One says "See you later" and the other says "In a while".
Q: If your wife is shouting at the front door and your dog is barking at the back door, who do you let in first?
A: The dog, of course. At least he'll shut up after you let him in.
Chuck Norris invented the Giraffe when he roundhouse kicked a spotted Horse in the chin.
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