What's green and eats nuts?
Syphilis.
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Similar jokes
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How many babies does it take to paint a house?
Depends how hard you throw them.
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A redneck family shares one vehicle, the daughter asks her dad for the truck.
The father says "okay, you know what to do."
Then continues to lower his pants, the daughter says "daddy why's there shit on your dick."
The father then replies "ohhhh, that's right honey, your brother has the truck."
This desperate guy named Jim goes to the whorehouse with 5$.
He buys a the cheapest prostitute named Sandpaper Sally.
As they start to have sex, Jim screams, "Ouch! Now I know why they call you Sandpaper Sally!"
Sally scoots out of the room.
Five minutes later she came back and Jim attempts sex once again.
"What the hell happened?" asks Jim, "This is the best sex I''ve ever had!"
Sally replies, "Oh, I just picked my scabs."
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What's the definition of bravery?
A man with diarrhea chancing a fart!
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What's green and smells like pork?
Kermit's finger.
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A guy admired the hair of three girls.
He walked by one and asked, "How'd you get such lovely blonde hair"
Taking her hand and gently running it through her hair, the girl answered, "It's natural."
The guy walked by the second girl and asked, "How'd you get such pretty brown hair?"
Fluffing her hair, the second girl said, "It's natural."
Finally the guy approached the third girl and asked, "How'd you get such cool green hair?"
Taking her hand and rubbing it up past her nose, then skimming it through the hair, she said, "It's natural."
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Being single is cool cause you can eat a whole jar of pepperoncinis and spend the rest of the night farting spicily into the abyss.
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Q: What's red, sits in front of a mirror, and gets smaller and smaller?
A: A vain idiot combing his hair with a potato peeler.
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Q: What do you get when you mix cigarettes with hot water?
A: A soggy butt.
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Q: What do women and cats have in common?
A: Pussy farts.
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