What do you call an incestuous nephew?
An aunt-eater.
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Three robbers break into a bank, but when they open the safe, they find only boxes.
One robber opens a box and finds cups full of yogurt.
"We didn't find any money, but we got something to eat," he tells his partners.
They eat their fill and leave.
The next morning's newspaper headline reads, "World's Largest Sperm Bank Robbed."
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What does Michael Jackson call a Tickle-Me-Elmo doll?
Bait!
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What is the sharpest thing in the world?
A Fart.
It goes through your pants and doesn't even leave a hole.
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A nice respectable lady with a savory smell of perfume got on the bus and took a seat beside me.
After some moments I dared to ask her: "Excuse me lady do you mind me please to ask you what is the name of this perfume and where did you buy it from? I want to buy one for my wife."
The lady responded: "It is Chanel and from Paris."
After about ten minutes later I felt a strong wind in my belly so I slowly blew it out.
Some seconds later she broke and said: "Offf... what is this smell my God"?
I said: "Gar lic and from Gilroy city in California."
Q: What do you give an elephant with diarrhea?
A: Lots of room.
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Q: How do you eat a frog?
A: You put one leg behind each ear.
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A man jumps off a building at the same time that another man pisses.
Which hits the ground first?
The piss, because nobody beats the Wiz!
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What do you get when you eat a prune pizza?
Pizzeria!
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A demon died and was asked by god what he wanted to become in his next life.
The demon said "I wish to become good in my next life. I want to be as pure and white as an angel and also have angel wings... But I still want to drink blood."
So god turned him into a maxi pad.
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I have a green nose, three red mouths, and four purple ears.
What am I?
Ugly!
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