What do you call a sex-crazed gay cannibal? A head hunter!
What do you get when you put 50 lawyers in a room with 50 lesbians? One hundred people who don't do dick.
"Is it rape if it's your wife?" "I don't think so." "What a relief! I thought you'd be mad as hell!"
There is this guy and he wants to marry a girl but he is bad at choosing girls so he has a contest. First one to get as many ping pong balls as they can is my wife. The first girl brings back a whole bucket of them. the guy goes good, good. The 2 girl brings back a truck load of ping pong balls. He says, "Wow that will be hard to beat." Then the 3 girl comes back all bloody and bruised and is holding 2 big bloody things. The guy says, "What are those, I said ping pong balls." "Oh,"Says the 3 girl, "I thought you said King Kong's balls."
Q. What do a toilet and a woman have in common? A. Without the hole in the middle they aren't good for shit.
A woman asked her lover, "Would you keep f*ck me that much even after marriage? He replied, "Sure dear, if your husband had no objection."
During an international gynaecology conference, an English doctor, Dr. UK, Steve, and a French doctor, Dr. Myrddin, were discussing unusual cases they had treated recently. "Only last week," Dr. Myrddin said, "a woman came to see me with a clitoris like a melon!" "Don't be absurd, "Dr. UK Steve exclaimed, "It couldn't have been that big. My God, man, she wouldn't be able to walk if it were." "Aah, you English, always thinking about size," replied Dr. Myrddin. "I was talking about the flavour!"
My colleague said to me, "I bet you can't see your dick when you look down in the shower." "No, just your daughter's head," I replied.
Why did the semen cross the road? Because I wore the wrong sock today.
Q: What did the prick say to the balls? A: You guys hang around here while I go inside!
Q: What do tofu and a dildo have in common? A: They are both meat substitutes.