What do you call a sex-crazed gay cannibal?
A head hunter!
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You are so selfish!
You're going to have that body the rest of your life and I just want it for one night.
Q: How can you spot the blind guy in a nudist colony?
A: It's not hard.
How can you tell a tough lesbian bar?
Even the pool table has no balls.
Monica is at the dentist.
Half of her mouth is locked due to anesthesia, the dentist is intensively working.
Monica's mobile phone starts ringing.
Ignoring it four times, the dentist finally answers the phone pissed:
What’s up?
What’s up?, - some man asks.
Dentist:
Who are you?
I’m Monica’s husband
Dentist:
Listen, man, I’m about to finish, she will spit it out and will call you back!!!
A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette are riding in an elevator, when they see a small puddle in the corner.
The brunette looks at it.
"That's definitely cum," she says.
The redhead touches it.
"That's definitely cum," she says.
The blonde takes a little taste.
"That's definitely cum, but nobody in our building."
One day Little Timmy caught his mom and dad having sex.
Little Timmy asks his dad "Can I join you?"
His dad asks "Can your dick touch your ass?"
Timmy replies "No."
"Then no." Dad replies.
Later on he catches his dad looking at porn.
Timmy asks "Can I look with you Daddy?"
His dad asks again "Can your dick touch your ass?"
"No."
"Then no."
Later that night Little Timmy is eating cookies.
His dad walks into the kitchen and asks "Can I have a cookie?"
Timmy asks "Can your dick touch your ass?"
His dad replies "Yes."
"Then go fuck yourself these cookies are mine!"
Q: Do you know what happends with a nigger if he sticks up 12 varningssigns in his ass?
A: He becomes a toblerone!
Q: What do the Mafia and a pussy have in common?
A: One slip of the tongue, and you're in deep shit.
What's 72?
69 with 3 people watching!
Sex is like math:
Add the bed
Subtract the clothes
Divide the legs and pray you dont multiply