What do you call a sex-crazed gay cannibal?
A head hunter!
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Yo mama so fat, when your dad tried eating your mom's pussy his head stuck in.
Two friends talk:
"Hi, what are you doing?"
"Not much, writing a Valentine's Day greeting card."
"Why are you writing it with your left hand? Are you left-handed?"
"No, I just can't let my right hand to see it. It's a surprise for it."
Vote:
A vampire goes into to the bar and and for a glass of hot water.
The bartender says, "I thought you guys only drank blood."
The vampire pulls out a used tampon and says, "We do, I'm making tea."
Q: How do you know a gay guy has farted?
A: He needs to change his pants afterward.
Why did God give women belly buttons?
For somewhere to stash your gum on the way down.
Q: Why don't witches wear underwear?
A: For a better grip on there broomstick!
How do you blindfold a Chinese person?
Put floss over their eyes.
Two old ladies are walking through a museum and got separated.
When they ran into each other later the first old lady said to the second, "Oh my! Did you see that statue of the naked man back there?"
The second old lady replied, "Yes! I was absolutely shocked! How can they display such a thing! My gosh the penis on it was so large!"
Where upon the first old lady accidentally blurted out, "...Yeah, and cold, too!"
Two nuns are walking back to the convent at night when two men push them into a dark alley and start having sex with them.
One nun says "God, forgive them for they know not what they are doing!"
The second nun says "Speak for yours! Mine is a Master!"