Joke #7200

Q: Did you hear about the annoying midget who went to a nudist colony? A: He kept getting in everyone's hair.

What bounces up and down at 100mph? A baby tied to the back of a truck.

One day, a man was fishing on a dock across from a hotel in the country, when another man came and sat down. By way of conversation, the man asked the other what he was doing there. "I'm on a honeymoon." "Oh. Shouldn't you be having sex with your wife?" "Well, I would be. But she has a yeast infection." "What about oral sex?" "Gingivitis." "Anal sex?" "Diarrhea." "Pardon my question, but why are you with her?" "Well, I like fishing. And she's got worms."

How is a soyburger like a dildo? They're both substitutes for meat.

A guy sees a classified ad that says "Will give Blow Job while singing the Star Spangled Banner at the same time." The guys thinks to himself that it sounds interesting and unbelievable, and so decides to pay her a visit. She lets him in and says that the lights have to be off. So she turns the light off and starts sucking his dick. All of a sudden he hears the Star Spangled Banner, clear as day. He really wants to know how she is doing this so he flips on the lights. All he sees on the floor is a glass eye.

What's green and sits in the corner? That same baby three weeks later.

If I wanted some comeback, I'd wipe it off your chin!

Q: How can you tell if a bank robber is gay? A: He ties up the safe and blows the guard.

A little old man who's hard of hearing goes to see the doctor. As he can't hear very well, he takes his wife with him. The doctor examines the man and then says, "Hmm, I think we need to take a stool sample, a urine sample and a sperm sample." The old man turns to his wife and asks, "What did he say?" The wife replies, "He said he wants your underwear."

I love cats – they taste just like chicken.

Q: What did the fool do with his first 50 cent piece? A: He Married Her