Q: Did you hear about the annoying midget who went to a nudist colony?
A: He kept getting in everyone's hair.
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Similar jokes
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What is grosser than gross?
When you're kissing Grandma and she slips you the tongue.
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Q: What does an old woman have that a young woman doesn't?
A: A belly button between her boobs.
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Silence is golden.
Unless you have an infant.
Then its probably blue.
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Q: What's the difference between a Catholic wife and a
Jewish wife?
A: A Catholic wife has real orgasms and fake jewelry.
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An old couple is on a walk, when a pigeon flies by and relieves himself on the woman's head.
"Yech!" says the woman. "Get some toilet paper."
"What for? He must be half-a-mile away by now."
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A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey.
He orders a drink, and while he's drinking, the monkey jumps all over the place, eating everything behind the bar.
Then the monkey jumps on to the pool table and swallows a billiard ball.
The bartender screams at the guy, "Your monkey just ate the cue ball off my pool table - whole!"
"Sorry," replied the guy.
"He eats everything in sight, the little bastard. I'll pay for everything."
The man finishes his drink, pays and leaves.
Two weeks later, he's in the bar with his pet monkey, again.
He orders a drink, and the monkey starts running around the bar.
The monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar.
He grabs it, sticks it up his ass, pulls it out and eats it.
The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey did now?" he asks.
"Yeah," replies the guy.
"He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he swallowed that cue ball, he measures stuff first."
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What do you call an incestuous nephew?
An aunt-eater.
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Two monsters went to a Halloween party.
Suddenly one said to the other, "A lady just rolled her eyes at me. What should I do?"
The other monster replied, "Be a gentleman and roll them back to her."
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Q: What do you get when you mix beans and onions?
A: Tear gas.
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Why did the semen cross the road?
Because I wore the wrong sock today.
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