Q: Did you hear about the annoying midget who went to a nudist colony?
A: He kept getting in everyone's hair.
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Why doesnt a man eat out an 80 year old woman? Ever opened up a grilled cheese?
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Q: Why do men snore when they lie on their backs?
A: Because when their balls fall over their a**holes, they vapor-lock.
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A good looking woman walks into a bar wearing a tube top.
She raises her hand to signal the bartender for a beer, revealing that she does not shave her armpits.
Meanwhile, a sloppy drunk on the other side of the bar signals the bartender, "Buy that ballerina over there a drink on me."
The bartender replies, "What makes you think she's a ballerina?"
"Because," answers the drunken man, "any chick that can lift her leg that high has GOT to be a ballerina."
Q: How do you get a zombie baby into a bowl?
A: A blender.
Q: How do you get them out?
A: Doritos.
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Q: How do you recycle a condom?
A: Turn it inside out and shake the f**k out of it.
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Two missionaries in Africa were apprehended by a tribe of very hostile cannibals who put them in a large pot of water, built a huge fire under it, and left them there.
A few minutes later, one of the missionaries started to laugh uncontrollably.
The other missionary couldn't believe it! He said, "What's wrong with you? We're being boiled alive! They're gonna eat us! What could possibly be funny at a time like this?"
The other missionary replied, "I just peed in the soup!"
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Q: What's the difference between a cook and a gay?
A: The cook stirs today's lunch, whereas the gay stirs yesterday's dinner.
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So that there be less strife
May your dreams be sweet
And your ass does not tweet tonight.
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Q: What do you call a cow with no legs.
A: Ground Beef!
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Friend 1: "I like my women how I like my milk."
Friend 2: "What? White?"
Friend 1: "No, expired."
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Joke has 52.81 % from 79 votes. More jokes about: communication, disgusting, friendship, white people, wife