Joke #6692

Why are contipated folks unkind and rude? Cause they don't give a crap!
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A little guy gets on a plane and sits next to the window. A few minutes later, a big, heavy, strong, mean-looking, hulking guy plops down in the seat next to him and immediately falls asleep.  The little guy starts to feel a little airsick, but he's afraid to wake the big guy up to ask if he can go to the toilet. He knows he can't climb over him, and so the little guy is sitting there, looking at the big guy, trying to decide what to do. Suddenly, the plane hits an air pocket and an uncontrollable wave of nausea passes through the little guy. He can't hold it in any longer and he pukes all over the big guy's chest. About five minutes later the big guy wakes up, looks down, and sees the vomit all over him. "So," says the little guy, "are you feeling better now?"
Vote: has 63.17 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: airplane, disgusting, travel
One day two boys were walking through the woods when they saw some rabbit turds. One of the boys said, "What is that?" "They're smart pills," said the other boy. "Eat them and they'll make you smarter." So he ate them and said, "These taste like crap." "See," said the other boy, "you're getting smarter already."
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Q: Why does a dog lick himself? A: He can't make a fist.
Vote: has 32.54 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

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This morning as I was buttoning my shirt, a button fell off. After that, I picked up my briefcase, and the handle fell off. Then I went to open the door, and the doorknob fell off. I went to get into my car, and the door handle came off in my hand. Now I'm afraid to pee.
Vote: has 72.04 % from 33 votes. Send joke:

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What do a bungee jump and a Hooker have in common? They're both cheap, fast, and if the rubber breaks, you're dead.
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What is the difference between a blonde and a toilet? After you use a toilet it doesn't follow you around for three days.
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An asp in the grass is a snake, but a grasp in the ass is a goose.
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One day in the city a bus driver was making his usual stops. At the first stop a woman came to the front of the bus to get off. She turned to the bus driver and said, "I think I was just molested back there." The bus driver looked at her and said, "Not on my bus. You couldn't have been." So, he lets her off and drives on. He comes to the next stop and another woman comes to the front to get off. She, too, looks at the bus driver and says, "I think I was just molested back there." Now the bus driver thinks that something has to be wrong, to get two complaints like this in one day is just unheard of. He gets up out of his seat and goes to the back of the bus. To his surprise there is a bald guy crawling on the floor on his hands and knees. The bus driver says, "Sir, what are you doing?" The man looks at him and says, "I lost my toupee. I thought I found it twice, but I lost it again."
Vote: has 68.73 % from 49 votes. Send joke:

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Q: What does a plumber need to know about his job? A: Sh*t runs downhill and payday is on Friday.
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Why do babies have a soft spot in their heads? So you can pick them up five at a time
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