Joke #6951

Two women are digging in the garden. One pulls out a foot-long carrot. She says, "This one reminds me of my husband." The second woman says, "Your husband's is that long?" "No that dirty."
Vote:
has 53.58 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: women

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

I pray for: Wisdom, To understand a man. Love, To forgive him and; Patience, For his moods. Because if I pray for Strength I'll just beat him to death.
Vote:
has 39.21 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: death, love, women
George meets a genie in the street, which tells him to make a wish and it will make it true. "I want to pee whiskey," he says. “But are you sure? You can ask for money, wealth, anything you want." "No I want to pee whiskey." The genie thinks what can it do, it makes his wish true. George goes home, calls his wife, Sue: "Woman, get nuts and two glasses." Curious she was, she brings them. "What do you want them? She asks him. Once we don’t have any drinks." From now on, we will both have as much whiskey as we want, says to her. And really he fills the two glasses with whiskey. They clink, drink one, drink two drinks, make some fun … and play a little game. The other night the same happen. "Woman, bring two glasses and nuts." So they spend their evenings. One night, however, the scene changed. "Woman, bring nuts and a cup." "A, for one?" "You will drink from the bottle today."
Vote:
has 58.51 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, dirty, game, money, women
What do you call an open can of tuna in a lesbians apartment? Potpourri.
Vote:
has 40.63 % from 94 votes. More jokes about: food, lesbian, women
A man who smelled like a distillery flopped on a subway seat next to a priest. The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half-empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading. After a few minutes the disheveled guy turned to the priest and asked, "Say, Father, what causes arthritis?" "Mister, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap wicked women, too much alcohol, and a contempt for your fellow man." "Wow," the drunk muttered, returning to his paper. The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized. "I'm very sorry, I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?" "I don't have it, Father. I was just reading here that the Pope does."
Vote:
has 54.15 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, priest, women
I can't see the point of going to a lap-dancing club. If I wanted a woman who would take my money and sexually frustrate me, I would get married.
Vote:
has 82.55 % from 153 votes. More jokes about: marriage, mean, money, sex, women
A man and a woman meet in an elevator. "Where are you heading today?" the man asks. "I'm going down to give blood." "How much do you get paid for giving blood?" "About $20." "Wow," says the man, "I'm going up to donate sperm, and the sperm bank pays $100." The woman angrily gets off the elevator. The next day, the man and woman meet in the elevator again. "Fancy meeting you again. Where you off to today?" "Sperm bank," she says with her mouth full.
Vote:
has 70.46 % from 157 votes. More jokes about: medical, men, money, sex, women
3 things which change women: 1) I love U 2) I liquidated to your account 3) U have lost weight The last one had been some fatalities!
Vote:
has 68.17 % from 110 votes. More jokes about: fat, life, love, money, women
Man: "How do you like your eggs in the morning?" Woman: "Unfertilized."
Vote:
has 66.68 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: food, men, sex, women
Q: If your wife is shouting at the front door and your dog is barking at the back door, who do you let in first? A: The dog, of course. At least he'll shut up after you let him in.
Vote:
has 84.70 % from 900 votes. More jokes about: animal, wife, women
My Dearest Susan, Sweetie of my heart. I’ve been so desolate ever since I broke off our engagement. Simply devastated. Won’t you please consider coming back to me? You hold a place in my heart no other woman can fill. I can never marry another woman quite like you. I need you so much. Won’t you forgive me and let us make a new beginning? I love you so. Yours always and truly, John P.S. Congratulations on you winning the state lottery.
Vote:
has 39.94 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: marriage, men, women