So, Donald Rumsfeld is briefing George Bush in the Oval Office.
"Oh and finally, sir, three Brazilian soldiers were killed in Iraq today."
Bush goes pale, his jaw hanging open in stunned disbelief.
He buries his face in his hands, muttering "My God...My God".
"Mr. President," says Cheney, "we lose soldiers all the time, and it's terrible. But I've never seen you so upset. What's the matter?"
Bush looks up and says..."How many is a Brazilian?"
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A knight walked into a blacksmith's shop.
The blacksmith said: "You've got mail."
A US Army soldier sat in a bar with his head in his hands having just finished his first day of Airborne training.
His buddy sat down on the stool next to him and asked him what was the matter.
"I just finished my first day in Airborne training and it didn't go too well", he sighed.
"What happened?", his buddy asked.
"Well, we got over the jump zone, the green light came on and we all hooked up to the jump line.
We shuffled to the door and when it was my turn, I just froze. I couldn't jump."
"What happened then?", his buddy asked, concerned.
"Well the jump sargeant started yelling at me.
He said, Boy, if you don't jump right now, I'm going to shove my fist up your ass!"
"Did you jump?"
"Well, a little at first."
As we stood in formation at the Pensacola Naval Air Station, our Flight Instructor said, “All right!
All you dummies fall out.”
As the rest of the squad wandered away, I remained at attention.
The instructor walked over until he was eye-to-eye with me, and then just raised a single eyebrow.
I smiled and said, “Sure was a lot of ‘em, huh sir?”
A drill sergeant had just chewed out one of his cadets, and as he was walking away, he turned to the cadet and said, "I guess when I die you'll come and dance on my grave."
The cadet replied, "Not me, Sarge...no sir!
I promised myself that when I got out of the Army I'd never stand in another line!"
Q: What is Iraq's national bird ?
A: Duck.
French Army rifles for sale – never fired and only dropped once!
Q: "How many members of the coalition does it take to screw in a light bulb?"
A: "We are not prepared to comment on specific numbers at this time."
Q: What is it called when a soldier slips into a fox hole?
A: Bestiality
Q: Where does a general keep his armies?
A: Up his sleevies.
The soldier serving overseas and far from home was annoyed and upset when his girl wrote breaking off their engagement and asking for her photograph back.
A creative fellow, he went out and collected from his buddies all the unwanted photographs of women that he could find, bundled them all together and sent them to her with a note stating the following:
"Dear Mary, I can not remember which one is you ... please keep YOUR photo and return the others!"