Chuck Norris is reading all these jokes and thinking to himself: They make me sound like a pussy.
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Chuck Norris can play a whole note in 3/4 time.
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Chuck Norris jumps on hand grenades to shave his chest hair.
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The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Chuck Norris.
There were no survivors, and nobody is brave enough to go to the island to retrieve the footage.
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Meteors didn't kill the dinosaurs, Chuck Norris just needed a new pair of boots.
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As an infant, Chuck Norris' parents gave him a toy hammer.
He gave the world Stonehenge.
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Chuck Norris tried to shave with Darth Vaders's light saber, but the light went out as soon as it realized Chuck Norris was there.
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Q: Why is Chuck Norris still alive?
A: Death remembers the feeling of the round-house kick.
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Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands.
They are now The Islands.
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Aliens believe in Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris once soaked his beard in carbonated water.
The result is now sold as Red Bull.
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