Chuck Norris is reading all these jokes and thinking to himself: They make me sound like a pussy.
Chuck Norris doesn't Tivo television programs. They come on when HE wants them to.
You know how they say if you die in your dream then you will die in real life? In reality, if you dream of death then Chuck Norris will find you and kill you.
Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
Chuck Norris has never received an electricity bill, he powers everything with his rage
My friend to me "I don't understand why Chuck Norris is the butt of so many jokes." Me to the friend "Well he does kick a lot of them."
Chuck Norris once taught a book to read.
Chuck Norris can play a PS3 with a Super Nintendo controller, and it works!
When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.
Chuck Norris once won a rap battle against Eminem. He just kept saying "Chuck Norris" in a raplike-fashion. The crowds' heads exploded from amazement.
When nature calls Chuck Norris hangs up.