Someone once broke into Chuck Norris' house and instead of stealing anything they gave Chuck Norris everything they owned.
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Where does the devil go when he dies?
He goes to Chuck Norris for an eternity of roundhouse kicks.
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Chuck Norris can tie his shoes with his feet.
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Chuck Norris won a marathon on a treadmill.
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Chuck Norris doesn't blow out brithday candles, they surrender their flames willingly.
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Chuck Norris doesn't have a chin under his beard just another fist!
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Chuck Norris's version of a "chocolate milkshake" is a raw porterhouse wrapped around ten Hershey bars, and doused in diesel fuel.
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No matter how fast you run, Chuck Norris will always walk faster.
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Chuck Norris once went to Stevie Wonders concerts and smiled at him; Stevie Wonder is now blind.
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Global warming is caused by transient energy leftover from Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks.
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Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost.
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