Someone once broke into Chuck Norris' house and instead of stealing anything they gave Chuck Norris everything they owned.
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Chuck Norris can arrive anywhere without actually leaving.
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Chuck Norris once scored a field goal, using a hockey stick!
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Chuck Norris is the reason there is wind.
The air tries to get away from him as fast as possible.
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Chuck Norris watched the first season of "24" in 5 hours.
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Chuck Norris can run so fast he can cause time travel.
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Chuck Norris does not listen to lectures.
Lectures listen to Chuck Norris.
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Some people can ride their bikes with no handle bars.
But chuck norris can ride his handlebars with no bike.
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Chuck Norris was born Sept. 1 1945.
World War 2 ended Sept. 2 1945.
What a coincidence.
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Chuck Norris once went logging and took down a forest.
Then he came back for his axe.
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Everybody loves Raymond. Except for Chuck Norris.
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