Someone once broke into Chuck Norris' house and instead of stealing anything they gave Chuck Norris everything they owned.
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Chuck Norris watched the tape from The Ring.
His phone rang and when he answered a scared voice said "Excuse me, the wrong number"
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Chuck Norris is a hunter.
But Chuck Norris does not hunt.
That implies the possibility of failure.
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Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth.
Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.
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Chuck Norris watched the first season of "24" in 5 hours.
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Never tell Chuck Norris he lost the game because he will make you lose the game then roundhouse kick you in the face making you lose twice.
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Chuck Norris invented the spoon because it's too easy to kill someone with a knife or fork.
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Chuck Norris can pop scissors with a balloon.
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When Chuck Norris donates blood, he gives twenty gallons.
None of it is his own.
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Q: How many licks does it take Chuck Norris to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?
A: Zero. He simply stares at the candy and the outer coating is gone.
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Chuck Norris can kill you as many times as he wants to.
He knows CPR.
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