Someone once broke into Chuck Norris' house and instead of stealing anything they gave Chuck Norris everything they owned.
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Night time... when Chuck Norris tells the sun it's time for bed.
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"Between a rock and a hard place" refers to Chuck Norris' fists.
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Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong in a "Who has more testicles?" contest.
Chuck Norris won by 5.
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Chuck Norris once walked into my house and I was fined for trespassing.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need oxygen tanks when scuba diving.
He simply sucks all the life out of the ocean to breath.
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"With great power comes a great beard!"
- Chuck Norris.
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When a zombie apocalypse starts, Chuck Norris doesn't try to survive.
The zombies do.
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Little known medical fact: Chuck Norris invented the Caesarean section when he roundhouse-kicked his way out of his monther's womb.
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Chuck norris plays frisbee with his retinas.
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Chuck Norris stopped playing golf after that unfortunate incident with the dinosaurs.
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