Someone once broke into Chuck Norris' house and instead of stealing anything they gave Chuck Norris everything they owned.
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Barack Obama was elected president of the USA because Chuck Norris said so.
He remind him of Trivette...
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Chuck Norris was a pokemon card, until they took it out of the market cause the Chuck Norris card was level infinity.
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Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle -- you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face.
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Chuck Norris puts the fun in funeral.
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Some people break the laws of the state, Chuck Norris breaks the laws of physics.
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Right angles used to be called wrong angles until Chuck said, "I don't see anything wrong with them."
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Chuck Norris recently got himself an iPad.
It turned into iDust when he tried to use it.
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The Grinch steals Christmas from Santa, Chuck Norris steals Christmas from the Grinch.
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Chuck Norris discovered a new theory of relativity involving multiple universes in which Chuck Norris is even more badass than in this one.
When it was discovered by Albert Einstein and made public, Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the face.
We know Albert Einstein today as Stephen Hawking.
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The war with Japan would have ended sooner, but the allies decided that dropping Chuck Norris on Hiroshima would be a crime against humanity.
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