Someone once broke into Chuck Norris' house and instead of stealing anything they gave Chuck Norris everything they owned.
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Chuck Norris can listen to 24 hours worth of music and not move a single muscle.
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When Norris hits the road, he destroys it.
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Chuck Norris had a knife thrown at him... the knife didn't impale him, he impaled the knife.
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Rules of fighting:
1) Don't bring a knife to a gun fight.
2) Don't bring a gun to a Chuck Norris fight.
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Few people can go down Niagra Falls in a barrel.
Chuck Norris can go up Niagra Falls in a carboard box.
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Chuck Norris can text using a rotary phone.
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Chuck Norris does not play computer games, he makes games play computer!
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Chuck Norris can paste something before he copies it.
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To finally solve whether Mona-Lisa is smiling or not, Chuck Norris took a quick look at it.
She's crying
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Atlas doesn't drop the earth because he knows Chuck Norris lives in it.
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