Someone once broke into Chuck Norris' house and instead of stealing anything they gave Chuck Norris everything they owned.
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Chuck Norris does not skip stones... he skips sheets of drywall.
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When Chuck Norris gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.
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Death once took Chuck Norris.
He regreted it.
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When Chuck Norris opens a bag of Doritos, it's fucking full!
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Chuck Norris once ran on the treadmil.
It couldn't keep up.
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Chuck Norris sends paper letters through email.
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When Chuck Norris finds fools' gold it automatically turns into real gold.
Chuck Norris is nobody's fool.
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Chuck Norris leaves messages before the beep.
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The Dead Sea was formerly known as The Living Sea.
Until it met Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris can drink from an empty cup.
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