Chuck Norris sheds his skin twice a year.
When Chuck Norris was a kid his parents took him to a beach in Georgia. While swimming Chuck Norris pants came down and out popped Florida.
Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a f***ing Indian.
When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.
If Chuck Norris says his opinion on somthing, it automaticlly becomes a fact.
When Columbus discovered America, Chuck Norris has already worked there as Texas ranger.
Chuck Norris has never won a single fight. Winning would imply some sort of competition or chance that he could loose.
Chuck Norris once gave blood, it was put in cans and labelled 'Red Bull'.
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
Every resturant has a drive thru when you're riding shotgun with Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris is the meaning of life. Too bad he's also the meaning of death.