Joke #7100

How do you know when an Asian breaks into your home? Your house is clean, your computer is fixed, and their still pulling out of your driveway.
Vote:
has 58.75 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: computer, life

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Satan greets him: "Welcome Mr. Gates, we've been waiting for you. This will be your home for all eternity. You've been selfish, greedy and a big liar all your life. Now, since you've got me in a good mood, I'll be generous and give you a choice of three places in which you'll be locked up forever. Satan takes Bill to a huge lake of fire in which millions of poor souls are tormented and tortured. He then takes him to a massive coliseum where thousands of people are chased about and devoured by starving lions. Finally, he takes Bill to a tiny room in which there is a bottle of the finest wine sitting on a table. To Bill's delight, he sees a PC in the corner. Without hesitation, Bill says "I'll take this option." "Fine," says Satan, allowing Bill to enter the room. Satan locks the room after Bill. As he turns around, he bumps into Lucifer. "That was Bill Gates!" cried Lucifer. "Why did you give him the best place of all!" "That's what everyone thinks" snickered Satan. "The bottle has a hole in it!" "What about the PC?" "It's got Windows 95!" laughed Satan. "And it's missing three keys," "Which three?" "Control, Alt and Delete."
Vote:
has 82.45 % from 132 votes. More jokes about: computer, geek, IT, life, vulgar
Jesus and the devil were arguing over which one of them was the better computer programmer. "I am!" Jesus shouted. "No, I am!" the devil countered. "I am!" "I am!" "Me!" "No, me!" "EEEEEEENOUGH!" God bellowed, and the whole universe disappeared into darkness. When the lights came back on, two computers were sitting in front of them. God said "Now, whoever makes the best computer program in twenty minutes wins." Jesus and the devil both sat down, typing and clicking furiously. This went on for about 15 minutes, but then there was a power failure, and everything went dark. When everything came back up again, the computer screens were both blank. The devil tried in vain to get back everything he had lost. He came up empty-handed. Jesus pressed one key and it all came back. The devil looked at him in astonishment. "No way! How did you do that?!" Jesus turned to him and smiled, and said "Everybody knows Jesus saves."
Vote:
has 82.11 % from 136 votes. More jokes about: computer, god, life, programmer
I would love to change the world, but they won't give me the source code.
Vote:
has 77.83 % from 71 votes. More jokes about: coding, computer, geek, IT, life
What was Forrest Gump's email password? 1forrest1
Vote:
has 71.40 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, computer, IT, life, technology
Chuck Norris's keyboard doesn't have a Ctrl key because nothing controls Chuck Norris.
Vote:
has 67.64 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, computer, death, life, technology
Womens are like computer virus... they ENTER your life... SEARCH your pocket... SHIFT your balance ... CONTROL your life... when you become an old version DELET you from the system
Vote:
has 64.93 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: computer, IT, life, money, women
Chuck Norris sent a e-mail through the postal service.
Vote:
has 58.98 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, computer, technology
What does a blonde do when her laptop computer freezes? She sticks it in the microwave.
Vote:
has 64.72 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: blonde, computer
Q: What do you call an Asian family tree? A: A rice bush.
Vote:
has 60.84 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: asian, family, food, life, racist
I took a day off from work to play golf. I was on the fourth hole, when I discovered a small frog sitting on the green. I paid it no attention until I heard, "Ribbit. 9-iron." That's curious, I thought, but decided to trust the frog. I pulled out a 9-iron and sunk a hole-in-one. Amazed, I picked up the frog and asked where we should go next. "Ribbit. Vegas." We went to Vegas, and I asked the frog what we should do first. "Ribbit. Roulette." We went up to the roulette table, and I won big. I took my earnings and got the best room in the hotel. I asked the frog if there was anything I could do to repay it. "Ribbit. Kiss me." I figured, what the hell, and I kissed the frog. It turned into a 15-year-old girl. That's how she ended up in my room, your Honor, and if I'm lying, my name's not R. Kelly. Tweet Share
Vote:
has 67.68 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: age, animal, golf, life, work