Q: What do parsley and pubic hair have in common?
A: You push them both aside when you eat.
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Similar jokes
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Some advice for guys: When the red river's flowin', take the dirt road.
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I see, said the blind man, peeing into the wind.
It's all coming back to me now.
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Q: What does an old woman have that a young woman doesn't?
A: A belly button between her boobs.
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An old woman goes to the doctor's office.
The doctor gives her a checkup and says, "I need to do stool, blood and urine tests."
The woman says, "Well can I just leave my underwear? Bingo starts in half an hour."
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Ozzy Osbourne bites the heads off of bats.
Chuck Norris bites the heads off of Siberian Tigers.
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A pretty lady is standing on the side of a bridge, looking over it and thinking about jumping off.
A homeless alcoholic man comes up to her as he was walking nearby.
The lady notices the man coming and says: "Go away! There's nothing you can say to me to change my mind, you cannot help me."
"Well, if you're going to kill yourself anyway, why don't we have sex? At least I'll enjoy it" replies the man.
"No way, you're disgusting, go away."
The homeless man turns and starts walking away.
The lady thinks: "Is that all you were going to say to me? Nothing more? Won't you try to convince me that life is worth living that I should not jump off? Where are you going?"
The homeless man thinks: "I have to make it down to the bottom. If I hurry, you'll still be warm."
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Why are a sorority girl and a tampon similar?
They are both stuck up cunts.
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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall red?
Depends how hard you throw them.
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Why did the zombie baby cross the road?
He was stapled to the chicken.
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A pianist was hired to play background music for a movie.
When it was completed he asked when and where he could see the picture.
The producer sheepishly confessed that it was actually a porn film and it was due out in a month.
A month later, the musician went to a porn theatre to see the adult movie.
With his collar up and dark glasses on, he took a seat in the back row of the adult cinema, next to a couple who also seemed to be in disguise.
The movie was even raunchier than he had feared, featuring group sex, S/M, bondage and even a dog.
After a while watching the adult movie, the embarrassed pianist turned to the couple and said, "I'm only here to listen to the music."
"Yeah?" replied the man. "We're only here to see our dog."