Q: What do parsley and pubic hair have in common?
A: You push them both aside when you eat.
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What's green and smells like pork?
Kermit's finger.
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Q: What does an old woman have that a young woman doesn't?
A: A belly button between her boobs.
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The poop list:
-Ghost Poop: You feel the poop come out, but there is no poop in the toilet.
-Clean Poop: You poop, it's in the toilet, but there's nothing on the toilet paper.
-Second Wave Poop: You're done pooping and you've pulled your pants up to your knees, but something tells you you're not done.
-Gassy Poop: Everyone within earshot is giggling.
-Corn Poop: Self-explanatory.
-Wet Cheeks Poop: (The power dump) Comes out of your butt so fast, your cheeks get splashed with water.
-Upper Class Poop: This poop doesn't smell.
-The Dangling Poop: This poop refuses to drop, and you just pray that a shake.
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Did you here about the man that died from eating Rocky Mountain Oysters?
The bull must have drug him a mile!
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How do you know you're at a bulimic bachelor party?
When the cake jumps out of the girl!
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A redneck family shares one vehicle, the daughter asks her dad for the truck.
The father says "okay, you know what to do."
Then continues to lower his pants, the daughter says "daddy why's there shit on your dick."
The father then replies "ohhhh, that's right honey, your brother has the truck."
One night as a bartender is closing up his bar, he hears a knock at the back door.
When he opens the door, there stands a bum who asks, "Can I have a toothpick?"
The bartender gives him a toothpick and continues cleaning up his bar.
Five minutes later, he hears another knock at the door.
Again, there stands another bum who asks, "Can I have a toothpick?"
The bartender gives him a toothpick and continues cleaning up the bar.
Five minutes later, he hears another knock at the back door.
This time, there's a bum asking for a straw.
The owner gives him a straw, but finally asks what's going on out there.
The bum replies, "Some lady threw up in the back, but all the good stuff is gone."
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Q: How can you tell if you're in a gay church?
A: Only half the congregation is kneeling.
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An old man and his wife went to the doctor's office.
The doctor asked the man for a blood, urine and feces sample.
The man was slightly deaf and said, "What?"
The doctor said, "I need a blood, urine and feces sample."
The man still looked puzzled, so his wife leaned over and yelled into his ear, "Sheldon, the doctor needs a pair of your underwear."
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Q: Why did the referee stop the leper hockey game?
A: There was a face-off in the corner.
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