One day, a team of blondes and a brunette team took part in a fishing contest.
They went to the Frozen Lake and installed from a two different perspectives.
The brunettes were making fish one after another, but the blondes were unlucky.
The blonde team gathered around in a circle and start a discussion about the problem and wanted to find an answer for it.
After two hours they decided to send someone to spy on the other team, so they can find out what the brunettes were doing differently.
The blonde spy goes and hides behind the bushes.
After a while, breathless arrives at her team and screams with joy: "I’ve found it! I’ve found it! We gonna rip them off!"
All the blondes, full of wonder asked her: "Spit it out, what do the brunettes do differently?"
"Whole! They’re opening a whole in the ice!"
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A blonde who got a fishing rod for her birthday decided to go ice fishing to make good use of her gift.
Early the next morning, she got all her gear together and headed out to the ice.
When she reached her final destination, she cut a large hole in the ice and dipped the rod in.
Then suddenly she heard a voice that said: “There are no fish in there”.
So she moves to another spot and cuts another hole, but then the same voice spoke again and told her there were no fish in there.
So she moves again, and the voice tells her there are no fish in there.
So she looks up and sees an irritated man staring down at her.
“How do you know there are no fish there?” asks the blonde.
So the man cooly says “Well first of all, this is a hockey rink, and second of all, you’re going to have to pay for those holes.”
Three blondes are sitting by the side of a river holding fishing poles with the lines in the water.
A Game Warden comes up behind them, taps them on the shoulder and says, “Excuse me, ladies, I’d like to see your fishing licenses.”
“We don’t have any,” replied the first blonde.
“Well, if you’re going to fish, you need fishing licenses,” said the Game Warden.
“But officer,” replied the second blonde, “we aren’t fishing. We all have magnets at the end of our lines and we’re collecting debris off the bottom of the river.”
The Game Warden lifted up all the lines and, sure enough, there were horseshoe magnets tied on the end of each line.
“Well, I know of no law against it,” said the Game Warden. “Take all the debris you want.”
And with that, he left.
As soon as the Game Warden was out of sight, the three blondes started laughing hysterically.
“What a dumb Fish Cop,” the second blonde said to the other two. “Doesn’t he know that there are steelhead trout in this river?”
One day a blonde is sitting on a plane next to one of those annoying, pushy businessmen.
He asks her if she would like to play a game.
She politely declines, but the man explains the game to her anyway.
He says, "It goes like this: I will ask you a question and if you get it wrong you will give me $5, and vice-versa."
She says no again, and tries to fall asleep.
The man tries harder, saying, "Aw, come on. I'll give you $50 for each question. Or how about $500?"
At that number, the blonde agrees.
The businessman explains again, "If you get my question wrong you give me $5. And when you ask the question, and I get it wrong, I will pay you $500.
"Got it," she replies.
He asks, "Who was the sixth president?" She admits she doesn't know and gives him $5.
Now it's her turn, and she says, "What has purple legs, five arms and only two yellow teeth?"
The businessman doesn't know - he uses his laptop, checks the Internet, e-mails his friends.
No one knows the answer.
So he gives her $500.00.
Then, as they're landing he asks her, "What was that thing anyway?"
She thinks a few minutes, hands him $5 and walks off the plane.
Chuck Norris is the only person able beat a fish at holding his breath under water.
Vote:
Tom, Frank, and Harry are fishing in a boat.
Frank stands up to get a beer, loses his balance, falls in the lake, and dissapears.
After a few minutes, and no sign of Frank, Tom tells Harry he better go in after him.
Harry drags him into the boat and notices hes not breathing.
"Better give him mouth-to-mouth" says Tom.
"Whew! I don't remember him having this bad of breath!" says Harry.
Tom replies, "Oh yeah, well I don't remember him wearing a snowmobile suit!"
Q: Why don't they let Blondes swim in the ocean?
A: Because they can't get the smell out of the tuna.
Q. A blonde ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in six or twelve pieces.
A. "Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces."
Yo mama so ugly, even goldfish don't smile back.
Why don't whales eat sushi very often?
Of course whales like sushi.
It's just those itty-bitty chop sticks that keep getting stuck in their teeth.