How is parsley like pubic hair? You push it aside to eat, and sometimes it gets stuck between your teeth after meals.
What is the differance between a dead baby and a VHS tape? The VHS tape don't stink when you leave it out in the sun.
Q: Why do men snore when they lie on their backs? A: Because when their balls fall over their a**holes, they vapor-lock.
Q: Why is it a bad idea for two butt cheeks to get married? A: Because they part for every little shit.
Silence is golden. Unless you have an infant. Then its probably blue.
What’s funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown costume!
A woman finds out that her husband is cheating on her, so she decides to leave him a present. When he gets home, he finds an empty house, a bowl of cookies, and a video. He scarfs down the cookies, and pops in the video. On TV, he sees his wife sucking his best friend's d**k. He comes in her mouth, and she immediately spits the jizz into a bowl of cookie dough. Then she turns to the camera. "Oh, hello, I want a divorce."
Q: What do you get when you mix beans and onions? A: Tear gas.
Q: What's the difference between boogers and broccoli? A: Kids don't eat broccoli.
Q: What is worse than ten dead people in one trashcan? A: One dead person in ten trashcans!
Q: How do you get a zombie baby into a bowl? A: A blender. Q: How do you get them out? A: Doritos.