Q: What did the Lawyer say to the lesbian?
A: One slip of the tongue and you will be in s**t!
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Did you hear what the blonde who was opening a new bar said when her lawyer explained to her that she needed a liquor license?
"Oh, it's not gonna be THAT kind of a bar. That's disgusting!"
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What did the lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire?
See ya next month.
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Q. What do you call two lesbians with their period?
A. Finger painting.
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Q: What do you call a lesbian with a big tongue?
A: Well hung.
An Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman are wandering through the desert, hungry and hallucinating, when they come upon a rotting, dead camel.
"Well," said the Englishman, "I support the Liverpool football club, so I'll eat the liver."
"I support the Hearts club," said the Scotsman, "so I'll eat the heart."
"I support Arsenal," said the Irishman, "but I seem to have lost my appetite."
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Q: Why is it a bad idea for two butt cheeks to get married?
A: Because they part for every little shit.
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A good looking woman walks into a bar wearing a tube top.
She raises her hand to signal the bartender for a beer, revealing that she does not shave her armpits.
Meanwhile, a sloppy drunk on the other side of the bar signals the bartender, "Buy that ballerina over there a drink on me."
The bartender replies, "What makes you think she's a ballerina?"
"Because," answers the drunken man, "any chick that can lift her leg that high has GOT to be a ballerina."
Q: What did one lesbian frog say to the other lesbian frog?
A: Gee, we really do taste like chicken!
How can you tell if your house was built by lesbian carpenters?
All tongue-in-groove, with no studs.
An Aggie and a Longhorn had just bought a ranch together, so they were driving the fence line to check everything out when they came upon a goat with his head stuck in a fence.
So the Longhorn gets out of the truck, looks around, and then starts screwing the goat.
He gets finished, takes a step back, ands asks the Aggie, "Hey, you want a piece of this?"
The Aggie says, ´"Yeah, but do I have to stick my head in the fence?"
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