Q: What did the Lawyer say to the lesbian? A: One slip of the tongue and you will be in s**t!
Did you hear what the blonde who was opening a new bar said when her lawyer explained to her that she needed a liquor license? "Oh, it's not gonna be THAT kind of a bar. That's disgusting!"
What did the lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire? See ya next month.
Q. What do you call two lesbians with their period? A. Finger painting.
What do you call an open can of tuna in a lesbians apartment? Potpourri.
A woman walks into a restaurant and sits down. As she bends down to reach into her purse for her wallet, she farts loudly with the waiter right behind her. She sits abruptly back up, glares at the waiter and shouts “Stop that!” To which the waiter replies, “Sure, which way did it go?”
What can a goose do, a duck can’t, and a lawyer should? Stick his bill up his rear.
Q: Why was the lesbian sick? A: She was lacking vitamin D.
A ship with 30 sailors and one woman strands on a desert island. After one month the woman says: "I can not proceed in this way." And she suicides herself. After another month, the sailors say: "We can not proceed in this way." And they bury the woman. The next month, the sailors say: "We can not proceed in this way." And they dig up the woman.
Q: Why can't Jesus eat M&Ms? A: They keep falling through the holes in his hands.
A lawyer was well into a lengthy cross-examination of a witness, stopped and said: "I object, Your Honor! One of the jurors is asleep." The Judge ruled: "You put him to sleep… You wake him up."