Q: What did the Lawyer say to the lesbian? A: One slip of the tongue and you will be in s**t!
Did you hear what the blonde who was opening a new bar said when her lawyer explained to her that she needed a liquor license? "Oh, it's not gonna be THAT kind of a bar. That's disgusting!"
What did the lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire? See ya next month.
Q. What do you call two lesbians with their period? A. Finger painting.
Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs, with a ten inch penis? A: "Partially disabled."
Why don’t lawyers enjoy fishing? Because it’s too much like work, what with all the lying involved.
Little Johnny comes home one day and says, "Mom! Little Mark next door has a penis like a peanut!" "What do you mean, Johnny? Is it shaped like a peanut?" "No," says Johnny. "It's salty."
A lawyer is paid £950 in new bills but, on counting the money, he discovers that two notes have stuck together and he’s been overpaid by £50. This leaves him with an ethical dilemma – should he tell his partner?
What do you call an open can of tuna in a lesbians apartment? Potpourri.
What do you call two lesbians in a canoe? Fur traders.
A lawyer boarded an airplane in New Orleans with a box of frozen crabs and asked a blonde stewardess to take care of them for him. She took the box and promised to put it in the crew's refrigerator. He advised her that he was holding her personally responsible for them staying frozen, mentioning in a very haughty manner that he was a lawyer, and proceeded to rant at her about what would happen if she let them thaw out. Needless to say, she was annoyed by his behavior. Shortly before landing in New York, she used the intercom to announce to the entire cabin, "Would the lawyer who gave me the crabs in New Orleans, please raise your hand." Not one hand went up...so she took them home and ate them.