Q: What did the Lawyer say to the lesbian?
A: One slip of the tongue and you will be in s**t!
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Did you hear what the blonde who was opening a new bar said when her lawyer explained to her that she needed a liquor license?
"Oh, it's not gonna be THAT kind of a bar. That's disgusting!"
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What did the lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire?
See ya next month.
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Q. What do you call two lesbians with their period?
A. Finger painting.
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What did the tampon say to the other tampon in school?
I'll see you next period.
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A mother and son were walking through a cemetery, and passed by a headstone inscribed ‘Here lies a good lawyer and an honest man.'
The little boy read the headstone, looked up at his mother, and asked "Mommy, why did they bury two men there?"
How do you make stew out of a leper?
Put him in a Jacuzzi and turn it on full.
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A lawyer died and arrived at the pearly gates.
To his dismay, there were thousands of people ahead of him in line to see St. Peter.
But, to his surprise, St. Peter left his desk at the gate and came down the long line to where the lawyer was standing.
St. Peter greeted him warmly.
Then St. Peter and one of his assistants took the lawyer by the hands and guided him up to the front of the line into a comfortable chair by his desk.
The lawyer said, “I don’t mind all this attention, but what makes me so special?”
St. Peter replied, “Well, I’ve added up all the hours for which you billed your clients, and by my calculation you must be about 193 years old!”
Q: What do lawyers wear to court?
A: Lawsuits!
The lesbians next door bought me a Rolex for my birthday.
I think they misunderstood when I said I wanna watch...
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What is grosser than gross?
When you're kissing Grandma and she slips you the tongue.
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