Joke #8323

What is the sharpest thing in the world? A Fart. It goes through your pants and doesn't even leave a hole.
Vote: has 67.78 % from 36 votes. Send joke:
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"Hey Jaeger, are you enjoying that apple?" "Sure, why do you ask." "I was going to offer you some toast." "How kind of... I'll accept." "Great, but what's toast without any butter Jaeger." "You're right about that!" "Well give me a few seconds, let me go scrape some off of your mother's teeth!"
Vote: has 37.61 % from 22 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: disgusting, food, time
What do you call a prostitute with a runny nose? Full.
Vote: has 55.25 % from 51 votes. Send joke:
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I don't like the term "anal bleaching". I prefer "changing your ringtone."
Vote: has 62.22 % from 20 votes. Send joke:
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An Aggie and a Longhorn had just bought a ranch together, so they were driving the fence line to check everything out when they came upon a goat with his head stuck in a fence. So the Longhorn gets out of the truck, looks around, and then starts screwing the goat. He gets finished, takes a step back, ands asks the Aggie, "Hey, you want a piece of this?" The Aggie says, ´"Yeah, but do I have to stick my head in the fence?"
Vote: has 56.86 % from 14 votes. Send joke:
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Q: What's the difference between a cook and a gay? A: The cook stirs today's lunch, whereas the gay stirs yesterday's dinner.
Vote: has 40.24 % from 29 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: disgusting, food, gay, work
An eagle swoops down from the sky and eats a mouse. Three hours later, while the eagle is flying, the mouse sticks its head out of the eagle's butt and asks, "How high up are we?" "About 2,000 feet," the eagle replies. The mouse replies, "You ain't sh*ttin' me, are you?"
Vote: has 69.20 % from 88 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, disgusting
Q: Did you hear about the depressed proctologist? A: He's been feeling down in the dumps.
Vote: has 39.47 % from 11 votes. Send joke:
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A guy walks into a store. He goes up to the clerk and holds up his hand. In his hand he's holding a big pile of crap. He looks at the clerk with the biggest expression of relief and says, "Whew, that was close. Look what I almost stepped in."
Vote: has 49.51 % from 14 votes. Send joke:
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What did the mother vampire say to her daughter when she picked up a tampon? "Honey, no in-between meal snacks!"
Vote: has 39.32 % from 15 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: disgusting, food
A young priest is unhappy with how little money his congregation contributes every week to the collection plate. So decides to try a new tack and hypnotize them, using Father Matthews' priceless pocket watch. Thus hypnotized, they all give the five bucks he asked them too. Pumped by his success, he ups the amount to $10 the next week. Amazingly, everybody gives ten bucks each. The week after that, he decides to up it to twenty bucks, but just as he's about to announce the amount, he drops the watch. "S**t!" It took the workers two weeks to clean up the church.
Vote: has 76.74 % from 46 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: church, disgusting, money, priest