The poop list: -Ghost Poop: You feel the poop come out, but there is no poop in the toilet. -Clean Poop: You poop, it's in the toilet, but there's nothing on the toilet paper. -Second Wave Poop: You're done pooping and you've pulled your pants up to your knees, but something tells you you're not done. -Gassy Poop: Everyone within earshot is giggling. -Corn Poop: Self-explanatory. -Wet Cheeks Poop: (The power dump) Comes out of your butt so fast, your cheeks get splashed with water. -Upper Class Poop: This poop doesn't smell. -The Dangling Poop: This poop refuses to drop, and you just pray that a shake.
Teacher asks Little Johnny to use the word 'definitely' in a sentence. Little Johnny replies, "Teacher, do farts have lumps in them?" The Teacher says, "Of course not Johnny," To which Johnny replies, "Then I have definitely shit my pants then..."
Q: What's the difference between erotic and kinky? A: Erotic is when you use a feather; kinky is when you use the whole chicken.
Q: What is worse than ten dead people in one trashcan? A: One dead person in ten trashcans!
A farmer gets a phone call from his son. "I've run over a pig and its stuck under the tractor still alive." "Shoot it," says the farmer, "and then bury it." About 20mins later he gets another call..." "Done that, what should I do with his speed camera and motorbike?"
Little Johnny: "I've piss may I go out?" Teacher : "Piss is an impolite word instead you say I've number 1." Jimmy: "May I go out? I want to shit." Teacher: "Shit is also a bad word it is better to use number 2 instead." Ronald: "There is a wind in my belly give me please a number for it."
Q: Who is brave? A: He who has diarrhea and wants to fart!
Mommy, mommy, I don't want to visit grandma today! "Shut up and keep digging, boy."
What's red and sits in a corner? A baby playing with a razor blade.
What’s harder to do than nailing a baby to a tree? Nailing it to a dead puppy.
You might be a redneck if you think taking a bubble bath starts with eating beans for dinner.