Joke #7355

What's green and smells like pork? Kermit's finger.
Vote:
has 73.48 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: disgusting

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

A family brings their elderly mother to a nursing home. The nurses bathe her and set her in a chair at a window. After a while, she slowly starts to lean over sideways in her chair. Two attentive nurses immediately straighten her up. Again, she starts to tilt to the other side. The nurses rush back to put her upright. This goes on all morning. Later, the family arrives and asks, "Are they treating you all right?" "It's pretty nice," the old woman replies. "Except they won't let you fart."
Vote:
has 66.16 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, family, fart, nurse, old people
Do you know what would be sick? If you sat in Santa's lap and you felt him get a boner. Do you know what would be even worse? If he stood up and you were still sitting in his lap.
Vote:
has 58.75 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
What's grosser than gross? Ten babies in one mail box. What's grosser than that? One baby in ten mailboxes. What's grosser than that? Biting into a pickle and finding a vein. What's grosser than that? A cheerleader doing a split and sticking to the floor. What's grosser than that? A girl thinking she has crabs only to find it's fruit flies because her cherry rotted.
Vote:
has 46.87 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
Q: Why do men snore when they lie on their backs? A: Because when their balls fall over their a**holes, they vapor-lock.
Vote:
has 54.66 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
Q: What do you call a cow with no legs. A: Ground Beef!
Vote:
has 66.98 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
Two guys narrowly escaped from a sinking ship on a life raft and discovered a magic lamp tucked away in a dark cranny. Figuring what the hell, one of the men gave the lamp a rub and "poof," a cloud of smoke. A second later, a genie appeared and said, "I will grant each of you one wish." After thinking a while, the first man turned to the genie and said, "I wish I were floating on an ocean of beer." The genie granted the man's wish and disappeared. The man's companion turned to him and said, "Way to go idiot. Now we have to pee in the boat."
Vote:
has 51.61 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: beer, disgusting, genie, life
Q: What do you get if you cross a bear with a toilet? A: Winnie the Pooh.
Vote:
has 52.38 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: animal, disgusting
A man joins the navy and is shipped out immediately to an aircraft carrier in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. The captain is showing the new recruit around the ship, when the recruit asks the captain what the sailors do to satisfy their urges when they're at sea for so long. "Let me show you," says the captain. He takes the recruit down to the rear of the ship where there's a solitary barrel with a hole in it. "This'll be the best sex you'll ever have. Go ahead and try it, and I'll give you some privacy." The recruit doesn't quite believe it, but he decides to try it anyway. After he finishes up, the captain returns. "Wow! That was the best sex I've ever had! I want to do it every day!" "Fine. You can do it every day except for Thursday." "Why not Thursday?" "That's your day in the barrel."
Vote:
has 80.24 % from 635 votes. More jokes about: air force, dirty, disgusting, navy, sex
Q: What's the difference between pea soup and roast beef? A: Anyone can roast beef.
Vote:
has 56.98 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, food
Q: What's brown and in the military? A: Gomer's pile.
Vote:
has 33.50 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, military