What's green and smells like pork?
Kermit's finger.
Vote:
Similar jokes
See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.
Q: Why doesn't Tigger have any friends?
A: He plays with Pooh.
Vote:
I am a dog
And you are a flower.
I lift my leg up
And give you a shower.
Vote:
Why fart and waste when you can burp and taste?
Vote:
A little nine year old girl was in church with her mother when she started feeling ill.
"Mommy" she said "Can we leave now?"
"No" her mother replied.
"Well, I think I have to throw up!"
"Then go out the front door and around to the back of the church and throw up behind a bush."
In about two minutes the little girl returned to her seat.
"Did you throw up?" her mother asked.
"Yes" the little girl replied.
"Well, how could you have gone all the way to the back of the church and return so quickly?"
"I didn't have to go out of the church, Mommy" the little girl replied, "They have a box next to the front door that says 'for the sick'."
Vote:
What's grosser than gross?
Two Siamese twins connected at the tongue.
What's even grosser than that?
When one of them throws up.
Vote:
A businessman returns from the far east.
After a few days he notices stange growth on his penis.
He sees several doctors.
They all say: "You've been screwing around in the Far East, very common there, no cure. We'll have to cut it off."
The man panics, but figures if it is common in the East they must know how to cure it.
So he goes back and sees a doctor in Pakistan.
The doctor examines him and says, "You've been fooling around in my country. This is a very common problem here. Did you see any other doctors?"
The man replies, "Yes a few in the USA."
The doctor says, "I bet they told you it had to be cut off."
The man answers, "Yes!"
The doctor smiles, nods, "That is not correct. It will fall off by itself."
Vote:
What kind of a car does a proctologist drive?
A brown Probe!
Vote:
What has 4 legs and one arm?
A Doberman in a children’s playground!
Vote:
Boy Monster: Did you get the big red heart I sent you for Valentine's?
Girl Monster: Yes, I did. Thank you.
Boy Monster: Is it still beating?
Vote:
Cannibal Son: Mom, I don't like my brother anymore.
Cannibal Mother: You shut up and eat!
Vote: