What's green and smells like pork?
Kermit's finger.
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Similar jokes
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What's red and sits in a corner?
A baby playing with a razor blade.
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How do you know you're at a bulimic bachelor party?
When the cake jumps out of the girl!
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What’s harder to do than nailing a baby to a tree?
Nailing it to a dead puppy.
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Q: What do you get when you mix cigarettes with hot water?
A: A soggy butt.
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Q: How can you tell if a bank robber is gay?
A: He ties up the safe and blows the guard.
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What's the difference between a leprechaun and gonorrhea?
One's a cunning runt.
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Q: What does a Polish bride get on her wedding night that's long and hard?
A: A new last name.
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Bob: "Hey, Sue, why is there a tampon hanging out of your mouth?"
Sue: "Oh my God. What did I do with my cigarette?"
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I've accepted every email offer I've ever received.
My penis is now 235 feet long.
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A young couple is out for a romantic Valentine's Day walk along a country lane.
They walk hand in hand and as they stroll, the lad's lustful desire rises to a peak.
He is just about to get frisky when she says, "I hope you don't mind, but I really do need to take a piss."
Slightly taken aback by this vulgarity, he suggests she go behind a nearby hedge.
She nods in agreement and disappears behind the shrubbery.
As he waits, he can hear the sound of her tight panties rolling down her long legs and imagines what is being exposed.
Unable to contain his animal thoughts a moment longer, he reaches through a gap in the foliage, and his hand touches her leg.
He quickly brings his hand further up her thigh until suddenly, and with great astonishment, he finds himself gripping a long, thick appendage that's hanging between her legs.
He shouts in horror, "My God, Claudette, I had no idea you were actually a man!"
"No, you don't understand!" she replies.
"I changed my mind, I'm taking a crap instead."
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