What's green and smells like pork?
Kermit's finger.
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Similar jokes
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Q: What did the butcher say when he backed into the meat-grinder?
A: Looks like I'm getting a little behind in my work!
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Q: Why did the cowboy have sh*t in his mustache?
A: Cuz he'd been lookin for love in all the wrong places.
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Q: What did one gay sperm say to the other gay sperm?
A: "How are we supposed to find an egg in all this sh*t?"
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Q: What did the fool do with his first 50 cent piece?
A: He Married Her
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A guy in a supermarket goes up to the cashier and places two cans of dog food on the counter.
The cashier asks, "Do you have a dog sir?"
"Yes, it's at home," replies the man.
"To be able to sell you the dog food sir, I must see the dog. That is store policy," says the cashier.
Next day the man goes places two cans of cat food on the counter.
"Do you own a cat sir?" asks the cashier.
"Yes I do, it's at home," says the man.
"Well I am sorry sir. Store policy. I must see the cat before I can sell you cat food," says the cashier.
The next day the man returns to the store and walks directly to the same cashier.
He has a brown paper bag in his hand.
"Here," he says to the cashier, "put your hand in here."
The cashier puts her hand in the brown paper bag.
"It is all soft and warm," she says.
"Yes, that's right," says the man, "I need to buy two rolls of toilet paper."
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A: What does 70-year-old p***y taste like?
A: Depends.
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Q: What is 40 feet long and smells like urine?
A: Line dancing at a nursing home.
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Q: What compliment do you NOT want from a midget?
A: Wow! Your hair smells good!
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Q: What does a plumber need to know about his job?
A: Sh*t runs downhill and payday is on Friday.
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At the scene of a terrible road accident, a guy is laying sprawled out on the road, seemingly stone dead.
The rescue workers are all around him, but can do nothing to resuscitate him.
Suddenly, a young woman in a short miniskirt forces her way through the crowd.
"Let me at him, I can help him," she says.
"What can you do?" ask the rescue people.
"We've tried everything to revive him, and it's too late."
"I can," says the woman. "Stand back!"
And she promptly takes off her panties, and crouches with her crotch over the man's face.
Suddenly, the man coughs, splutters, and sits up.
"What did you do?" ask the rescue people, amazed.
The woman says, "Blood Transfusion."
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