What's green and smells like pork?
Kermit's finger.
Vote:
Similar jokes
See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.
Say, "Do I smell popcorn?" right after you fart.
So everybody takes a big whiff.
Vote:
At the scene of a terrible road accident, a guy is laying sprawled out on the road, seemingly stone dead.
The rescue workers are all around him, but can do nothing to resuscitate him.
Suddenly, a young woman in a short miniskirt forces her way through the crowd.
"Let me at him, I can help him," she says.
"What can you do?" ask the rescue people.
"We've tried everything to revive him, and it's too late."
"I can," says the woman. "Stand back!"
And she promptly takes off her panties, and crouches with her crotch over the man's face.
Suddenly, the man coughs, splutters, and sits up.
"What did you do?" ask the rescue people, amazed.
The woman says, "Blood Transfusion."
Vote:
What's gross?
Farting in the bathtub.
What's grosser than that?
Catching the bubbles with your teeth.
Vote:
Q: Whats the height of desperation?
A: A vampire sucking blood from a sanitary napkin.
Vote:
Take a squirt gun into the rest room stall next to someone and shoot little drops over the wall every couple of seconds while pretending to pee.
Vote:
Q: What do women and cats have in common?
A: Pussy farts.
Vote:
Q: What's red, sits in front of a mirror, and gets smaller and smaller?
A: A vain idiot combing his hair with a potato peeler.
Vote:
Q: What's the difference between a Catholic wife and a
Jewish wife?
A: A Catholic wife has real orgasms and fake jewelry.
Vote:
If you think you have shitty job, what if you were toilet paper!
Vote: