Q: How do you recycle a condom? A: Turn it inside out and shake the f**k out of it.
Q: How do you know when there is a snowman in your bed? A: You wake up wet!
Q: Why do men take showers instead of baths? A: Pissing in the bath is disgusting.
One man says, "I can't believe they are still together after all that crap." The other man says, "Who?" The first man says, "Your butt cheeks."
Q: Why did the referee stop the leper hockey game? A: There was a face-off in the corner.
Take a squirt gun into the rest room stall next to someone and shoot little drops over the wall every couple of seconds while pretending to pee.
Michael: "What treat do eye doctors give out on Halloween?" Matthew: "I don't know. What?" Michael: "Candy corneas."
So that there be less strife May your dreams be sweet And your ass does not tweet tonight.
Why can't girls play hockey? Because their pads can't last three periods.
What's the difference between a dead baby and a table? You can't fuck a table.
A ship with 30 sailors and one woman strands on a desert island. After one month the woman says: "I can not proceed in this way." And she suicides herself. After another month, the sailors say: "We can not proceed in this way." And they bury the woman. The next month, the sailors say: "We can not proceed in this way." And they dig up the woman.