Did you hear about the man who took Viagra and a laxative at the same time?
He didn't know if he was coming or going.
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An elderly gentleman went to see his doctor and asked for a prescription of Viagra.
The doctor said, “That’s no problem. How many do you want?”
The man answered, “Just a few, maybe 4, but cut each one in 4 pieces.”
The doctor said, “That won’t do you any good.”
The elderly gentleman said, “That’s all right. I don’t need them for sex anymore as I am over 90 years old. I just want it to stick out far enough so I don’t pee on my shoes.”
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Did you hear about the midget that went into the whorehouse?
He got a twat in the face.
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Why are a sorority girl and a tampon similar?
They are both stuck up cunts.
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Q: Why shouldn't Men using iron supplements take Viagra?
A: It may cause them to spin around and point north.
Q: What did one butt cheek say to the other?
A: Together, we can stop this sh*t.
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Q: Whats the difference between Niagara and Viagra?
A: Niagara Falls.
A parrot swallows a Viagra tablet.
His owner, disgusted, puts him in the freezer to cool off.
Later when he opens the freezer, he finds the parrot sweating.
"How come you are sweating?" he asks.
The parrot replies, "Do you know how hard it is to open the legs of a frozen chicken?"
Mary, a horny and sexy 23 year old and a handsome, single, sexy doctor Matt have an appointment together.
Doctor: Well what's your problem madam?
Mary: Well, there's something wrong with my tongue.
Doctor: What's wrong with it?
Mary: Examine it and you'll see.
Doctor: Why don't you just-
Mary: EXAMINE IT!
Doctor: Fine. (Starts examining tongue, confused as there is nothing wrong with it.)
Mary: (Suddenly pushes tongue into Matt's mouth)
Doctor: (Pulls out tongue, furiously) Oh, so that's what's wrong with your tongue, eh? It's wanting sex. I see. I can fix that. (Goes to lock door, and rips off all of his clothes) Now your turn.
Mary: Wow. I should have just asked.
Doctor: (Starts to plunge in and out his dick from Mary's pussy.) Do you wanna make it more enjoyable?
Mary: (Moaning and groaning sexually) Ooooooh yes.... Baby..... Yes....
Doctor: Ooooooh it feels SOOO good. (Starts to moan and groan sexually, he suddenly cums)
Mary: Aaaaah a baby, fuck me more!
Doctor: (Goes on top of Mary) I'm fucking you as hard as I can!
When the session is finished, Mary wants to tell Matt something.
Mary: That was great. But do you know why you got so aroused before?
Doctors: Yes. It was very strange, I was not horny before.
Mary: My tongue had viagra powder on it. That's why I put my tongue in your mouth.
An 80-year-old man tells his wife, "I'm going to the doctor to get me some of those new Viagra pills."
His wife gets her coat on and says, "I'm going to the doctor, too. If you're going to start using that rusty old thing again, I'm getting a tetanus shot."
Q: Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple?
A: Finding half a worm."
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