Did you hear about the man who took Viagra and a laxative at the same time? He didn't know if he was coming or going.
An elderly gentleman went to see his doctor and asked for a prescription of Viagra. The doctor said, “That’s no problem. How many do you want?” The man answered, “Just a few, maybe 4, but cut each one in 4 pieces.” The doctor said, “That won’t do you any good.” The elderly gentleman said, “That’s all right. I don’t need them for sex anymore as I am over 90 years old. I just want it to stick out far enough so I don’t pee on my shoes.”
Q: Why do nursing homes give Viagra to the old men every night? A: It keeps them from rolling out of bed!
A good looking woman walks into a bar wearing a tube top. She raises her hand to signal the bartender for a beer, revealing that she does not shave her armpits. Meanwhile, a sloppy drunk on the other side of the bar signals the bartender, "Buy that ballerina over there a drink on me." The bartender replies, "What makes you think she's a ballerina?" "Because," answers the drunken man, "any chick that can lift her leg that high has GOT to be a ballerina."
Q: What do you get when you mix chocolate and Viagra? A: Oooh - Henry!
When is the best time to bury that baby you killed? When it starts talking to you again.
Q: What do you call a Shih-Tzu mixed with a poodle? A: A Shih-Tzpoo.
Q: What happens when you give Viagra to lawyers? A: They grow taller!
Q: How did the first man die from using Viagra? A: The tablet got stuck in his throat and he died from a stiff neck.
Three guys compare their levels of intoxication from a party the previous night. The first guy says, "Man, I was so drunk last night, I went home and blew chunks." The second guy says, "I was so drunk last night, I woke up this morning on my front porch." The third guy says, "I was so drunk last night, I took a prostitute home to my wife." The first guy exclaims, "You guys don't understand! Chunks is my dog!"
Viagra is like Disneyland; a one hour wait for a 2-minute ride.