What's worse than sucking a dozen raw oysters out of your grandmother's vagina? Putting in twelve and sucking out thirteen.
Q: What's the difference between your wife and your job? A: After 10 years the job still sucks.
A doctor complains to his colleagues about the sanitary problems at a latex glove factory in Mexico. "Workers stick their hands in melted latex and then dip their hands in a vat of cooling water to solidify the latex. The glove is then thrown in a finished products box." His colleagues are disgusted by the lack of care taken in keeping the gloves sanitary. "That's not all," says the doctor. "You don't even want to know how they make their condoms!"
Why fart and waste when you can burp and taste?
Q: How can you tell if a woman is wearing pantyhose? A: Her ankles swell up when she farts.
What's the warmest organ in a dead woman's body? My dick.
Q: Who is brave? A: He who has diarrhea and wants to fart!
What is the difference between a blonde and a toilet? After you use a toilet it doesn't follow you around for three days.
What's gross? Farting in the bathtub. What's grosser than that? Catching the bubbles with your teeth.
A guy admired the hair of three girls. He walked by one and asked, "How'd you get such lovely blonde hair" Taking her hand and gently running it through her hair, the girl answered, "It's natural." The guy walked by the second girl and asked, "How'd you get such pretty brown hair?" Fluffing her hair, the second girl said, "It's natural." Finally the guy approached the third girl and asked, "How'd you get such cool green hair?" Taking her hand and rubbing it up past her nose, then skimming it through the hair, she said, "It's natural."