What's worse than sucking a dozen raw oysters out of your grandmother's vagina?
Putting in twelve and sucking out thirteen.
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Q: What's the similarity between a woman and dog poop?
A: The older they get, the easier they are to pick up.
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Barnum & Bailey was transferring the circus from one town to another.
The elephants were connected trunk to tail.
They came along a railroad crossing and as the elephants were halfway across the tracks, a train came along and killed two of them.
Shortly thereafter, B&M Railroad received an invoice from Barnum and Bailey for $10,000.
B&M immediately called Barnum & Bailey and requested an explanation for the charge, writing, "What is the cost of a new elephant?"
Barnum & Bailey responded, "$1,000 each."
B&M responded, "But, we only killed two of them!"
Barnum & Bailey said, "Yes, but you pulled the assholes out of eight others."
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Two old ladies are at the movies.
"Psst," says one old lady. "I think the guy next to me is beating off."
"What makes you say that?"
"He's using my hand."
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There was this man who had a dog.
Every Sunday morning at 4:30 AM the man and the dog would go fishing.
One day, the man fell in love and got married.
After the wedding, when the man and the woman got in bed together, the man turned to the woman.
"Tomorrow is Sunday and every Sunday morning, me and my dog go fishing at 4:30 AM. We'd like you to come along."
"And what if I don't want to come along?" the woman asked impatiently.
"Well then, sweetie, we'll just have to have buttsex."
With that, the man rolled over and fell asleep, and left the woman pondering.
"God, I hate having the buttsex, but I also hate getting up so early. I'll have to think about this more."
In the morning, the woman could hear the man going downstairs to get the dog.
It was much too early for the woman to get up so she decided to wait for the inevitable buttsex.
She waited for about half an hour and fell back asleep, thinking her husband had left already.
She awoke to the man, pulling on her arm.
"Have you made your decision?" he asked
"Yes," she replied. "I do not want to go fishing."
True to his word, the man pulled down his pants.
"By the way, what took you so long to come upstairs? It usually doesn't take that long to get Sparky up."
"I know," the man said. "He didn't want to go either."
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Q: What do you call a Puerto Rican midget?
A: A spec.
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"Where are you going to take Vampira on your date?" asked one vampire.
"Oh, I thought we'd go to the movies, and then get a quick bite."
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Yo mamma’s so hairy, last night I confused here with a bush and pissed on her!
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Friend 1: "I like my women how I like my milk."
Friend 2: "What? White?"
Friend 1: "No, expired."
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Joke has 52.81 % from 79 votes. More jokes about: communication, disgusting, friendship, white people, wife
Q: How do you know when there is a snowman in your bed?
A: You wake up wet!
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What is more disgusting than a pile of 100 dead babies?
One live one in the middle is eating its way out.
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