What's worse than sucking a dozen raw oysters out of your grandmother's vagina?
Putting in twelve and sucking out thirteen.
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Why fart and waste when you can burp and taste?
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Three little old ladies were sitting on a park bench when a flasher came by in only an overcoat and opened it as wide as it could go.
The first little old lady had a stroke, the second little old lady also had a stroke, but the third little old lady couldn't reach.
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Q: What's the difference between boogers and broccoli?
A: Kids don't eat broccoli.
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Q: Why doesn't Tigger have any friends?
A: He plays with Pooh.
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Three men were trekking through the desert and came across a magician standing at the top of a slide.
The magician said, "You may each go down the slide and ask for a drink. When you reach the bottom of the slide, you shall land in a huge glass of that drink.
The first man went down yelling, "Beer!" He landed in a glass of beer.
The second man went down yelling, "Lemonade!" He landed in a glass of lemonade.
The third guy man down the slide yelling, "Wee!"
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Q: Why do men snore when they lie on their backs?
A: Because when their balls fall over their a**holes, they vapor-lock.
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Did you hear about the man who drank 5 gallons of tea?
He drowned in his teepee!
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Three guys compare their levels of intoxication from a party the previous night.
The first guy says, "Man, I was so drunk last night, I went home and blew chunks."
The second guy says, "I was so drunk last night, I woke up this morning on my front porch."
The third guy says, "I was so drunk last night, I took a prostitute home to my wife."
The first guy exclaims, "You guys don't understand! Chunks is my dog!"
What is the differance between a dead baby and a VHS tape?
The VHS tape don't stink when you leave it out in the sun.
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I met a girl who used masturbate to 2 girls 1 cup.
And that kids, is how j met your mother.
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