Do you know what would be sick?
If you sat in Santa's lap and you felt him get a boner.
Do you know what would be even worse?
If he stood up and you were still sitting in his lap.
Vote:
Similar jokes
See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.
Q: How do you know you're in a vampire bar?
A: There's a string hanging out of your Bloody Mary.
Vote:
Yo mama is so stinky that she scared the fly's off the shit wagonrn.
Vote:
Q: What's the difference between apple pie and pussy?
A: You can eat Granmas apple pie.
Vote:
"How are your hemorrhoids?"
"Swell."
Vote:
Yo mama so damn short, she uses salt shaker as a toilet.
Vote:
Q: What does an elephant use as tampon?
A: A sheep.
Vote:
Q: What's the difference between a brown-noser and a sh*thead?
A: Depth perception.
Vote:
The owner of a drug store walks in to find a guy leaning heavily against a wall.
The owner asks the clerk, "What's with that guy over there by the wall?"
The clerk says, "Well, he came in here this morning to get something for his cough. I couldn't find the cough syrup, so I gave him an entire bottle of laxative."
The owner says, "You idiot! You can't treat a cough with laxatives!"
The clerk says, "Oh yeah? Look at him, he's afraid to cough!"
Vote:
One day a miserable toothbrush sits down and says, "Sometimes I feel I have the worst job in the world."
Then the toilet paper yells, "Think again buddy!"
Vote:
What's worse than sucking a dozen raw oysters out of your grandmother's vagina?
Putting in twelve and sucking out thirteen.
Vote:
