Joke #7572

Do you know what would be sick? If you sat in Santa's lap and you felt him get a boner. Do you know what would be even worse? If he stood up and you were still sitting in his lap.
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Q: What's worse then finding 10 zombie babies in a garbage can? A: Finding one zombie baby in 10 garbage cans.
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What's grosser than gross? Ten babies in one mail box. What's grosser than that? One baby in ten mailboxes. What's grosser than that? Biting into a pickle and finding a vein. What's grosser than that? A cheerleader doing a split and sticking to the floor. What's grosser than that? A girl thinking she has crabs only to find it's fruit flies because her cherry rotted.
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Why fart and waste when you can burp and taste?
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Did you hear about the man who took Viagra and a laxative at the same time? He didn't know if he was coming or going.
Vote: has 68.56 % from 37 votes. Send joke:

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"Where are you going to take Vampira on your date?" asked one vampire. "Oh, I thought we'd go to the movies, and then get a quick bite."
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The owner of a drug store walks in to find a guy leaning heavily against a wall. The owner asks the clerk, "What's with that guy over there by the wall?" The clerk says, "Well, he came in here this morning to get something for his cough. I couldn't find the cough syrup, so I gave him an entire bottle of laxative." The owner says, "You idiot! You can't treat a cough with laxatives!" The clerk says, "Oh yeah? Look at him, he's afraid to cough!"
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A waitress walks up to a man to take his order. "I'd like to get the turtle soup, please." The waitress walks off to go get his order, but the man changes his mind and decides he wants the pea soup instead. "Hold the turtle, make it pea!"
Vote: has 57.36 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

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Q: How do you know a gay guy has farted? A: He needs to change his pants afterward.
Vote: has 58.56 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

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Q: What's the similarity between a woman and dog poop? A: The older they get, the easier they are to pick up.
Vote: has 63.22 % from 31 votes. Send joke:

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