Do you know what would be sick?
If you sat in Santa's lap and you felt him get a boner.
Do you know what would be even worse?
If he stood up and you were still sitting in his lap.
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Similar jokes
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I got home to see my two months pregnant wife crouched in the bathroom crying.
Her red, smudged eyes looked at me as she told me she'd lost the baby.
I told the silly thing not to be so upset, I could clearly see it in the toilet.
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At a rally John McCain was asked if he wore boxers or briefs.
He replied, "Depends."
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Yo mamma’s so hairy, last night I confused here with a bush and pissed on her!
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Why can't girls play hockey?
Because their pads can't last three periods.
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A farmer and a son live on a farm.
The farmer is sitting in the kitchen when his son comes in from the barn with a large glass of white liquid.
He is so excited because he's just milked a cow.
Then he takes a big drink from the glass.
His father just stares at him.
"Son, we don't have a cow. We have a bull."
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If I wanted some comeback, I'd wipe it off your chin!
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Take a squirt gun into the rest room stall next to someone and shoot little drops over the wall every couple of seconds while pretending to pee.
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Q: Did you hear about the leper poker game?
A: One guy threw in his hand and the other three laughed their heads off.
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Q: What's the similarity between a woman and dog poop?
A: The older they get, the easier they are to pick up.
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Q: Why are men like diapers?
A: They are always on your ass and full of sh*t, and thankfully, they're disposable.
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