Chuck norris can fix a plumbers crack.
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It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
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Chuck Norris isn't a good shot, his bullets just know better than to miss.
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Chuck Norris can lift up a chair with one hand... While he's sitting on it...
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Q: What is the sound of Chuck Norris clapping one hand?
A: Thunder.
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Do you know why babys cry when they are born?
Because they know they are entering the world with chuck Norris in it.
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Rules of fighting:
1) Don't bring a knife to a gun fight.
2) Don't bring a gun to a Chuck Norris fight.
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Chuck Norris has clicked the unclickable button... twice
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The best security system for a bank is when Chuck's money is in it.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need his seatbelt becouse no one is stupid enough to hit him.
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Once Chuck Norris swam all the oceans for 7 days and oceans got cold.
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