Chuck norris can fix a plumbers crack.
Most kids pee their name into snow... Chuck Norris pisses his in concreate...
My insurance policy says: "Does not cover acts of God, or Chuck Norris."
The Titanic sunk because Chuck Norris ran into it during his swim.
Once while having s*x in a tractor-trailer, part of Chuck Norris' sperm escaped and ran into the engine. We now know this truck....as Optimus Prime.
Chuck Norris once spelled the entire alphabet using only M&Ms.
Chuck Norris can light ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At Night.
Chuck Norris sprinted 2 marathons - backwards.
Chuck Norris stem cells can reproduce missing limbs.
Kids dream about having superpowers. Superpowers dream about having Chuck Norris.
Gravity is Space's way of trying to keep Chuck Norris away from it.