Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost.
Chuck Norris doesn't need photos, he takes mental pictures.
Chuck Norris does not require food, drink, shelter, or sleep, only confirmed kills.
The party only starts when Chuck Norris walks in.
Chuck Norris takes a meteor shower in the morning to freshen up.
Chuck Norris once gave a man an apple. Today that man is known as Steve Jobs.
Giraffes were invented when Chuck Norris laid an uppercut to a horse.
Chuck Norris once dropped a glass vase onto the floor. The glass apologized for breaking in his presence.
Chuck Norris fell down the stairs and broke somebody elses leg.
If Chuck Norris appears in your dream, don't panic, he is only looking for Freddy Krueger.
One time Chuck Norris saluted an American flag and it blushed.