Few people can go down Niagra Falls in a barrel. Chuck Norris can go up Niagra Falls in a carboard box.
Chuck Norris does not go fishing, the fish surrender.
For his surprise 50th birthday party, Chuck Norris turned up early. No one surprises Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can turn toast back into bread.
Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.
Little known medical fact: Chuck Norris invented the Caesarean section when he roundhouse-kicked his way out of his monther's womb.
The square root of Chuck Norris is pain. Do not try to square Chuck Norris, the result is death.
When Chuck lit a match earth saw the sun for the first time!
When Chuck Norris was 5 he threw a paper airplane. It landed yesterday.
When Chuck Norris donates blood he refuses the needle, he asks for a knife and a bucket.
Chuck Norris' driver's license simply shows his shoe size.