The owner of a drug store walks in to find a guy leaning heavily against a wall.
The owner asks the clerk, "What's with that guy over there by the wall?"
The clerk says, "Well, he came in here this morning to get something for his cough. I couldn't find the cough syrup, so I gave him an entire bottle of laxative."
The owner says, "You idiot! You can't treat a cough with laxatives!"
The clerk says, "Oh yeah? Look at him, he's afraid to cough!"
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There was this guy who was sick,so he went to the doctor.
The doc ran some tests and sent him home with some medicine.
The next day the doctor called and the wife answered.
"I'm going to need to run a few more tests", the doctor said.
"I'm going to need a semen, urine and a fecal sample".
After she hung up the husband asked, "What did the doctor say?"
"He needs a pair of your underwear".
Did you here about the man that died from eating Rocky Mountain Oysters?
The bull must have drug him a mile!
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Chuck Norris doesn't do cocaine.
Cocaine does Chuck Norris.
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Two men and a woman were the sole survivors of a pleasure cruise ship that sank in the Bermuda Triangle.
They made it to an uninhabited island.
Two weeks later the woman jumped off a cliff because she was so ashamed of what she was doing.
Two weeks after that the two men buried her because they were so ashamed of what they were doing.
Two more weeks passed by and the men dug her up again–being so ashamed of what they were doing.
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One day there was a big lady swimming at the beach when she noticed that she had lost her top.
She thought that no one would notice if she covered herself with her arms and walked overto her towel.
Then a little girl came running up to her.
"If you're going to drown those puppies, at least let me have the one with the cute little pink nose."
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What do you call a masturbating cow?
Beef Stroke-n-off
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Doctor: "Did you take those pills I gave you to improve your memory?"
Patient: "What pills?"
I am a dog
And you are a flower.
I lift my leg up
And give you a shower.
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An old woman goes to the doctor's office.
The doctor gives her a checkup and says, "I need to do stool, blood and urine tests."
The woman says, "Well can I just leave my underwear? Bingo starts in half an hour."
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What’s harder to do than nailing a baby to a tree?
Nailing it to a dead puppy.
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