Joke #7795

How do you make stew out of a leper? Put him in a Jacuzzi and turn it on full.
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At the scene of a terrible road accident, a guy is laying sprawled out on the road, seemingly stone dead. The rescue workers are all around him, but can do nothing to resuscitate him. Suddenly, a young woman in a short miniskirt forces her way through the crowd. "Let me at him, I can help him," she says. "What can you do?" ask the rescue people. "We've tried everything to revive him, and it's too late." "I can," says the woman. "Stand back!" And she promptly takes off her panties, and crouches with her crotch over the man's face. Suddenly, the man coughs, splutters, and sits up. "What did you do?" ask the rescue people, amazed. The woman says, "Blood Transfusion."
Vote: has 68.56 % from 37 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: death, disgusting, women
Little cowboy runs into a Bar shouting angerly "WHO's the lousy varmint that painted my horse green?" A big cowboy sidles up to him and says "I DID.. want to complain to me?" "No," says the little guy "just wanted you to know that the first coat is dry!"
Vote: has 65.48 % from 26 votes. Send joke:
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What is the differance between a dead baby and a VHS tape? The VHS tape don't stink when you leave it out in the sun.
Vote: has 40.77 % from 65 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, dead baby, disgusting, morbid
One night my mother in law came to our home. In the middle of the night suddenly I was awakened by a horrible sound from WC. She farted. I was so angry that shouted and said: "Your food is under your feet and your weapons are complete get out and go to fight with ISIS!"
Vote: has 73.18 % from 393 votes. Send joke:
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Q: Why are men like diapers? A: They are always on your ass and full of sh*t, and thankfully, they're disposable.
Vote: has 39.32 % from 13 votes. Send joke:
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Two men and a woman were the sole survivors of a pleasure cruise ship that sank in the Bermuda Triangle. They made it to an uninhabited island. Two weeks later the woman jumped off a cliff because she was so ashamed of what she was doing. Two weeks after that the two men buried her because they were so ashamed of what they were doing. Two more weeks passed by and the men dug her up again–being so ashamed of what they were doing.
Vote: has 46.63 % from 46 votes. Send joke:
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Q: How is a pussy like a grapefruit? A: The best ones squirt when you eat them.
Vote: has 71.74 % from 223 votes. Send joke:
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Q: What did one gay sperm say to the other gay sperm? A: "How are we supposed to find an egg in all this sh*t?"
Vote: has 67.13 % from 68 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: disgusting, gay
A good looking woman walks into a bar wearing a tube top. She raises her hand to signal the bartender for a beer, revealing that she does not shave her armpits. Meanwhile, a sloppy drunk on the other side of the bar signals the bartender, "Buy that ballerina over there a drink on me." The bartender replies, "What makes you think she's a ballerina?" "Because," answers the drunken man, "any chick that can lift her leg that high has GOT to be a ballerina."
Vote: has 74.08 % from 74 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: bar, bartender, beer, disgusting, women
Q: Why did the bald man cut holes in his pockets? A: He wanted to run his fingers through his hair.
Vote: has 52.93 % from 18 votes. Send joke:
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