How do you make stew out of a leper?
Put him in a Jacuzzi and turn it on full.
Vote:
Similar jokes
See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.
Why can't girls play hockey?
Because their pads can't last three periods.
Vote:
A ship with 30 sailors and one woman strands on a desert island.
After one month the woman says:
"I can not proceed in this way."
And she suicides herself. After another month, the sailors say:
"We can not proceed in this way."
And they bury the woman. The next month, the sailors say:
"We can not proceed in this way."
And they dig up the woman.
Vote:
Imagine, there are on the bus only 5 persons:
A busman, an old woman, two younger women and one man.
The old woman comes to the busman and tells him: "Dear busman, would you like to eat a few hazelnuts?"
The busman says: "Yes, why not?"
He takes the hazelnuts from her hand and eats them.
This repeats even two times, but when the old woman offers other hazelnuts to the busman for the fourth time, the busman asks this old woman:
"Madame, where do you take all these hazelnuts from? It is a real amount and I am already full."
The old woman only says: "You know, dear busman, I have bought the chocolate with hazelnuts, the hazelnuts are very hard for my dental plate, so I have sucked them all out, brought it to you and you have already eaten them all."
Two hunters are stalking through the forest when one says to the other that he has to take a dump.
"Well, go in the bushes."
"What should I use to wipe my ass?"
"Use a dollar bill."
A few minutes later the hunter steps out of the bushes with s**t all over his hands.
"What happened?" asks his friend.
"I didn't have a dollar bill, so I used four quarters."
Vote:
Q: What does an old woman have that a young woman doesn't?
A: A belly button between her boobs.
Vote:
Once upon a time there were these two bums walking down the railroad tracks, and the first bum, Fred, thought he smelled a nasty old smell. He asked his companion, Jeff, ''Did you s**t your pants?''
"Hell no," Jeff said.
They walked a few more miles and the smell got worse.
"Did you s**t your pants, Jeff?"
"I swear to the God almighty I did not s**t my pants," Jeff said.
So they walk three more miles and the smell gets just horrible.
Fred runs over and pulls down Jeff's pants and says, "I thought you said you didn't s**t your pants?!"
"I didn't." Jeff said.
"They're your pants."
Vote:
Q: How can you tell if you have an overbite?
A: When you're eating p**sy and it tastes like sh*t.
Vote:
How do you know you're at a bulimic bachelor party?
When the cake jumps out of the girl!
Vote:
When you're neckin' with yer honey
And your nose is kinda runny
You might think it's funny...
But it's not.
Vote:
How do you unload a truck of zombie babies?
With a pitchfork.
Vote: