How do you make stew out of a leper?
Put him in a Jacuzzi and turn it on full.
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Did you hear about the man who took Viagra and a laxative at the same time?
He didn't know if he was coming or going.
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The poop list:
-Ghost Poop: You feel the poop come out, but there is no poop in the toilet.
-Clean Poop: You poop, it's in the toilet, but there's nothing on the toilet paper.
-Second Wave Poop: You're done pooping and you've pulled your pants up to your knees, but something tells you you're not done.
-Gassy Poop: Everyone within earshot is giggling.
-Corn Poop: Self-explanatory.
-Wet Cheeks Poop: (The power dump) Comes out of your butt so fast, your cheeks get splashed with water.
-Upper Class Poop: This poop doesn't smell.
-The Dangling Poop: This poop refuses to drop, and you just pray that a shake.
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How does herpes leave the hospital?
On crotches.
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Q: How can you tell if a bank robber is gay?
A: He ties up the safe and blows the guard.
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Q: Whats the height of desperation?
A: A vampire sucking blood from a sanitary napkin.
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What is the last thing to go through a bug's mind when it hits your windshield?
It's ass.
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Q: What do Rodney King and Nicole Simpson have in common?
A: They just didn't listen
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What's the difference between a gay man and a refrigerator?
When you take sausage out of the fridge it doesn't fart.
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One day two boys were walking through the woods when they saw some rabbit turds.
One of the boys said, "What is that?"
"They're smart pills," said the other boy.
"Eat them and they'll make you smarter."
So he ate them and said, "These taste like crap."
"See," said the other boy, "you're getting smarter already."
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If you have a grief nobody feels,
If you have a pain nobody feels.
If your heart is broken nobody feels,
but if you fart all will understand.
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