Joke #6931

Why did God give women legs? So they don't leave a trail like a slug.

What does the cannibal do just after he dumped his girlfriend? Wiped his ass.

Q: Why do men take showers instead of baths? A: Pissing in the bath is disgusting.

1 woman and 9 men shipwreck on a deserted island. After one week, the woman, disgusted by the things she was doing, kills herself. After another week, the men, disgusted by the things they were doing, buried her. After another week, the men, more disgusted by the things they were doing, dug her up.

Q: How do you know you're in a vampire bar? A: There's a string hanging out of your Bloody Mary.

What's the difference between a dead baby and a table? You can't fuck a table.

The owner of a drug store walks in to find a guy leaning heavily against a wall. The owner asks the clerk, "What's with that guy over there by the wall?" The clerk says, "Well, he came in here this morning to get something for his cough. I couldn't find the cough syrup, so I gave him an entire bottle of laxative." The owner says, "You idiot! You can't treat a cough with laxatives!" The clerk says, "Oh yeah? Look at him, he's afraid to cough!"

I met a girl who used masturbate to 2 girls 1 cup. And that kids, is how j met your mother.

Q: How can you tell if a bank robber is gay? A: He ties up the safe and blows the guard.

Dr. Dave had sex with one of his patients and felt guilty all day long. No matter how much he tried to forget about it he just couldn't. The guilt was overwhelming. But every once in a while he would hear in internal, reassuring voice in his head that said: "Dave don't worry about it. You aren't the first medical practitioner to have sex with one of his patients and you won't be the last. Just let It go Dave." But invariably another voice in his head would bring him back to reality whispering: "Dave... Daaaave... you're a veterinarian you sick bastard!"

Q: What do you call a Shih-Tzu mixed with a poodle? A: A Shih-Tzpoo.