Joke #8346

Two brunettes and a blonde are attempting to fix a roof. While they are on the roof, a herd of cattle run by and knock down the ladder and leave a big pile of poop behind. The two brunettes decide to make the blonde check how deep the poop is so they can jump down. So the blonde jumps down and yells, "It's only ankle deep." So the two brunettes jump down and scream, "What are you talking about?! It's up to our heads!" And the blonde replies, "Well, I jumped in head first."

Q: How can you tell if you're in a gay church? A: Only half the congregation is kneeling.

Q: Why do men fart louder than women? A: because they have a microphone and two speakers.

Q: Why did the gay guy think his lover was cheating on him? A: He came home shit faced.

"Mommy, Mommy! Where have all your scabs gone?" "Shut up and eat your corn flakes."

Q: How can you tell if a bank robber is gay? A: He ties up the safe and blows the guard.

Malcolm: Miss Wilson can I go to the loo? Miss Wilson: In two minutes Malcolm. Do your alphabet first. Malcolm: Ok Miss Wilson. abcdefghijklmnoqrstuvwxyz. Miss Wilson: Very good, Malcolm, but where's the p? Malcolm: Miss, it's running down my leg!

Three old men were sitting on a porch. "I wish I could take a healthy piss," said one. "I wish I could take a healthy crap," said another. "I can take a crap at 6 AM and a piss at 11 AM. I just wish I could get up before noon."

Three guys compare their levels of intoxication from a party the previous night. The first guy says, "Man, I was so drunk last night, I went home and blew chunks." The second guy says, "I was so drunk last night, I woke up this morning on my front porch." The third guy says, "I was so drunk last night, I took a prostitute home to my wife." The first guy exclaims, "You guys don't understand! Chunks is my dog!"

I don't like the term "anal bleaching". I prefer "changing your ringtone."

Q: How do you know when there is a snowman in your bed? A: You wake up wet!