Two brunettes and a blonde are attempting to fix a roof.
While they are on the roof, a herd of cattle run by and knock down the ladder and leave a big pile of poop behind.
The two brunettes decide to make the blonde check how deep the poop is so they can jump down.
So the blonde jumps down and yells, "It's only ankle deep."
So the two brunettes jump down and scream, "What are you talking about?! It's up to our heads!"
And the blonde replies, "Well, I jumped in head first."
Vote:
Similar jokes
See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.
A young man and a young woman were soon to be married, but they both had a problem they had never told anyone else about.
The man approached his father one day before the wedding and told him about his problem.
His feet REALLY stunk, even if he washed them constantly, he was worried that this would scare off his new bride, so he needed a solution, fast.
His father pondered the situation and finally told his son to wear socks constantly (even to bed) and always wash his feet whenever he got a chance.
The son thought about this and went along happy.
The same day the young lady approached her mother and told her about her problem.
Her morning breath was horrid.
Her mother reassured her and told her everyone had bad morning breath.
The young woman told her mother that this was not normal morning breath but easily the worst in the world.
The mother thinks about this and comes up with this bright idea.
She tells her daughter to get up earlier than everyone else and don't say a thing, go make breakfast and then brush her teeth while the others are eating.
The young woman thinks and then runs off to get ready for the wedding, happy.
The couple is married and they are happy, him with his perpetual socks and her with her morning silences.
One morning about 5:30 am the young man wakes up to find one sock missing.
He starts rustling around in the bed looking for it, which of course wakes up his wife, who without thinking asks what's wrong.
With a look of shock on his face the young man says, "OH MY GOD! You've swallowed my sock!"
Q: What does an elephant use as tampon?
A: A sheep.
Vote:
Q: What's the similarity between a woman and dog poop?
A: The older they get, the easier they are to pick up.
Vote:
Q: What's the difference between a cook and a gay?
A: The cook stirs today's lunch, whereas the gay stirs yesterday's dinner.
Vote:
Q: What is better than winning a medal at the Para-olympics?
A: Having two legs.
Vote:
If you think you have shitty job, what if you were toilet paper!
Vote:
A family brings their elderly mother to a nursing home.
The nurses bathe her and set her in a chair at a window.
After a while, she slowly starts to lean over sideways in her chair.
Two attentive nurses immediately straighten her up.
Again, she starts to tilt to the other side.
The nurses rush back to put her upright.
This goes on all morning.
Later, the family arrives and asks, "Are they treating you all right?"
"It's pretty nice," the old woman replies. "Except they won't let you fart."
Vote:
Jeremy and Kris walk down the street and see a dog licking himself.
Jeremy says, "Man, I wish I could do that!"
Kris replies, "I think you'd have to pet him first."
Vote:
Cannibal Son: Mom, I don't like my brother anymore.
Cannibal Mother: You shut up and eat!
Vote:
Q: Did you hear about the new movie "Constipation?"
A: It hasn't come out yet.
Vote: