Joke #8346

Two brunettes and a blonde are attempting to fix a roof. While they are on the roof, a herd of cattle run by and knock down the ladder and leave a big pile of poop behind. The two brunettes decide to make the blonde check how deep the poop is so they can jump down. So the blonde jumps down and yells, "It's only ankle deep." So the two brunettes jump down and scream, "What are you talking about?! It's up to our heads!" And the blonde replies, "Well, I jumped in head first."

How does herpes leave the hospital? On crotches.

Diner: Watch out! Your thumbs in my soup! Waiter: Don't worry, Sir, it's not that hot!

Five liters of bean soup for dinner – let´s spend the night with the gas mask!

Q: How do you recycle a condom? A: Turn it inside out and shake the f**k out of it.

What's the difference between a dead baby and a table? You can't fuck a table.

Yo mama so damn short, she uses salt shaker as a toilet.

A guy in a supermarket goes up to the cashier and places two cans of dog food on the counter. The cashier asks, "Do you have a dog sir?" "Yes, it's at home," replies the man. "To be able to sell you the dog food sir, I must see the dog. That is store policy," says the cashier. Next day the man goes places two cans of cat food on the counter. "Do you own a cat sir?" asks the cashier. "Yes I do, it's at home," says the man. "Well I am sorry sir. Store policy. I must see the cat before I can sell you cat food," says the cashier. The next day the man returns to the store and walks directly to the same cashier. He has a brown paper bag in his hand. "Here," he says to the cashier, "put your hand in here." The cashier puts her hand in the brown paper bag. "It is all soft and warm," she says. "Yes, that's right," says the man, "I need to buy two rolls of toilet paper."

Q: Did you hear about the couple that "96ed?" A: After they "69ed" they rolled over and sh*t in each other's hair.

Q: What did the maxi pad say to the fart? A: You are the wind beneath my wings.

What do gays call hemorrhoids ? Speed bumps.