Joke #7870

A guy walks into a store. He goes up to the clerk and holds up his hand. In his hand he's holding a big pile of crap. He looks at the clerk with the biggest expression of relief and says, "Whew, that was close. Look what I almost stepped in."
Vote:
has 48.26 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: disgusting

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

What do you give Mikey for his 18th birthday? A 90 year old woman, because Mikey will eat anything.
Vote:
has 17.25 % from 64 votes. More jokes about: age, birthday, disgusting, women
Q: Whats the height of desperation? A: A vampire sucking blood from a sanitary napkin.
Vote:
has 58.56 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
Q: Who is brave? A: He who has diarrhea and wants to fart!
Vote:
has 84.91 % from 1314 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, fart, health
Q: Why do men fart louder than women? A: because they have a microphone and two speakers.
Vote:
has 78.22 % from 422 votes. More jokes about: dirty, disgusting, fart, men, women
A businessman returns from the far east. After a few days he notices stange growth on his penis. He sees several doctors. They all say: "You've been screwing around in the Far East, very common there, no cure. We'll have to cut it off." The man panics, but figures if it is common in the East they must know how to cure it. So he goes back and sees a doctor in Pakistan. The doctor examines him and says, "You've been fooling around in my country. This is a very common problem here. Did you see any other doctors?" The man replies, "Yes a few in the USA." The doctor says, "I bet they told you it had to be cut off." The man answers, "Yes!" The doctor smiles, nods, "That is not correct. It will fall off by itself."
Vote:
has 73.05 % from 71 votes. More jokes about: business, disgusting, doctor
A newlywed couple arrives in their sumptuous honeymoon suite, and it turns out they are both virgins. Brought up the old traditional way, neither of them really knows how to have sex. So after about half a painful hour of abortive attempts to get it on, an idea occurs to the husband. "OK, honey," he says, "this is what we'll do. I'll go into the closet and you go into the bathroom. We'll both get undressed and turn off the lights in the bedroom. And then on the count of three we'll both rush out at each other and then it will just happen in the middle of the bedroom." The wife is a bit unsure about this, but since she doesn't have any better ideas she agrees. So, the husband goes into the closet and the wife goes into the bathroom and they both get undressed. The anticipation is driving the husband mad and as he takes off his clothes he gets an enormous erection. The wife turns off the lights and on the count of three they both rush into the bedroom towards each other. But since the room is dark the husband gets disoriented and runs by his wife — right into the dresser. He hits the dresser so hard that he passes out from the pain. The next thing he remembers is coming to in a hosital bed, with a doctor looking down at him. His throbbing dick is still so painful that he moans to the doctor, "Doc, doc, how bad is it?" "That's nothing, son. Wait till you see your wife! We still haven't gotten her off the doorknob."
Vote:
has 69.85 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: couple, disgusting, doctor, holiday, husband
What's worse than 11 dead babies stapled to a tree? 1 dead baby stapled to 11 trees.
Vote:
has 57.51 % from 99 votes. More jokes about: dead baby, disgusting, morbid
A cowboy rides his horse up to a saloon. All the patrons gawked as the cowboy kissed his horse on the butt before coming in and asking for a drink. The bartender serves him and asks, "Mind if I ask why'd ya kiss your horse on the butt?" The cowboy says, "It's 'cause I got chapped lips." The bartender asks, "Does manure help them heal?" Cowboy replies, "No, but it keeps me from licking them."
Vote:
has 73.44 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
Q: Whats the Diffenence between kinky and perverted? A1: Kinky is when you tickle your girl friends ass with a feather. A2: Perverted is when you use the whole chicken...
Vote:
has 66.09 % from 76 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, disgusting
A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look."
Vote:
has 20.37 % from 338 votes. More jokes about: dad, disgusting, dog, family