Joke #7870

A guy walks into a store. He goes up to the clerk and holds up his hand. In his hand he's holding a big pile of crap. He looks at the clerk with the biggest expression of relief and says, "Whew, that was close. Look what I almost stepped in."

Laughing is always good except when you have diarrhea.

Q: What compliment do you NOT want from a midget? A: Wow! Your hair smells good!

Once upon a time there were these two bums walking down the railroad tracks, and the first bum, Fred, thought he smelled a nasty old smell. He asked his companion, Jeff, ''Did you s**t your pants?'' "Hell no," Jeff said. They walked a few more miles and the smell got worse. "Did you s**t your pants, Jeff?" "I swear to the God almighty I did not s**t my pants," Jeff said. So they walk three more miles and the smell gets just horrible. Fred runs over and pulls down Jeff's pants and says, "I thought you said you didn't s**t your pants?!" "I didn't." Jeff said. "They're your pants."

Q: What does a Polish bride get on her wedding night that's long and hard? A: A new last name.

Three robbers break into a bank, but when they open the safe, they find only boxes. One robber opens a box and finds cups full of yogurt. "We didn't find any money, but we got something to eat," he tells his partners. They eat their fill and leave. The next morning's newspaper headline reads, "World's Largest Sperm Bank Robbed."

I've accepted every email offer I've ever received. My penis is now 235 feet long.

What do you if you're trapped inside a whale? Run round and round till you're all pooped out!

Q: Why was the condom flying through the air? A: It got pissed off.

Q: What's the difference between apple pie and pussy? A: You can eat Granmas apple pie.

Q: Who is brave? A: He who has diarrhea and wants to fart!