Q: How do you get a dog to stop humping your leg?
A: Pick it up and suck it's dick.
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I met a girl who used masturbate to 2 girls 1 cup.
And that kids, is how j met your mother.
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Q: What do you call a Puerto Rican midget?
A: A spec.
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What’s sicker than driving over a baby?
Skidding.
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3 bums were outside a bar.
The first one went in and asked for a fork.
The second one went in and also asked for a fork.
Then the third one went in and wanted a straw.
At this point, the bartender became curious.
"How come all your friends want forks and you want a straw?"
"Well," the bum said, "the dog threw up and the chunks are all gone."
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What bounces up and down at 100mph?
A baby tied to the back of a truck.
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Q: How do you eat a frog?
A: You put one leg behind each ear.
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I have a green nose, three red mouths, and four purple ears.
What am I?
Ugly!
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What does the cannibal do just after he dumped his girlfriend?
Wiped his ass.
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Three guys compare their levels of intoxication from a party the previous night.
The first guy says, "Man, I was so drunk last night, I went home and blew chunks."
The second guy says, "I was so drunk last night, I woke up this morning on my front porch."
The third guy says, "I was so drunk last night, I took a prostitute home to my wife."
The first guy exclaims, "You guys don't understand! Chunks is my dog!"
Q: What is worse than ten dead people in one trashcan?
A: One dead person in ten trashcans!
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