Joke #5138

What's pink and red and silver and crawls into walls? A baby with forks in its eyes.
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Q: Why is diarrhea hereditary? A: It runs in your genes.
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I love cats – they taste just like chicken.
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Q: Why do men take showers instead of baths? A: Pissing in the bath is disgusting.
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Q: What's grosser than gross? A: Two vampires fighting over a used tampon.
Vote: has 64.23 % from 32 votes. Send joke:

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The owner of a drug store walks in to find a guy leaning heavily against a wall. The owner asks the clerk, "What's with that guy over there by the wall?" The clerk says, "Well, he came in here this morning to get something for his cough. I couldn't find the cough syrup, so I gave him an entire bottle of laxative." The owner says, "You idiot! You can't treat a cough with laxatives!" The clerk says, "Oh yeah? Look at him, he's afraid to cough!"
Vote: has 82.95 % from 184 votes. Send joke:

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How do you f*ck a fat chick? Roll her in flour and find the wet spot.
Vote: has 55.57 % from 41 votes. Send joke:

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Two men and a woman were the sole survivors of a pleasure cruise ship that sank in the Bermuda Triangle. They made it to an uninhabited island. Two weeks later the woman jumped off a cliff because she was so ashamed of what she was doing. Two weeks after that the two men buried her because they were so ashamed of what they were doing. Two more weeks passed by and the men dug her up again–being so ashamed of what they were doing.
Vote: has 53.18 % from 26 votes. Send joke:

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Q: Why does a dog lick himself? A: He can't make a fist.
Vote: has 35.66 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

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What's worse than sucking a dozen raw oysters out of your grandmother's vagina? Putting in twelve and sucking out thirteen.
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A guy finds his dog with the neighbor's pet rabbit in its mouth. The rabbit is dead and the guy panics. He takes the dirty, chewed up rabbit into the house. He gives it a bath, blow dries its fur, and puts it back into the cage at the neighbor's house, hoping they will think it died of natural causes. A few days later, the neighbor asks the guy, "Did you hear that Fluffy died?" The guy stammers and says, "Um... no... what happened?" The neighbor replies, "We found him dead in his cage one day, but the weird thing is that the day after we buried him, someone had dug him up, gave him a bath and put him back into the cage. There are some real sick people out there!"
Vote: has 83.59 % from 410 votes. Send joke:

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