What's pink and red and silver and crawls into walls?
A baby with forks in its eyes.
Vote:
Similar jokes
See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.
What's grosser than gross?
Two Siamese twins connected at the tongue.
What's even grosser than that?
When one of them throws up.
Vote:
A ship with 30 sailors and one woman strands on a desert island.
After one month the woman says:
"I can not proceed in this way."
And she suicides herself. After another month, the sailors say:
"We can not proceed in this way."
And they bury the woman. The next month, the sailors say:
"We can not proceed in this way."
And they dig up the woman.
Vote:
One day God came to Adam to pass on some news.
"I've got some good news and some bad news," God said.
Adam looked at God and said, "Well, give me the good news first."
Smiling, God explained, "I've got two new organs for you. One is called a brain. It will allow you to be very intelligent, create new things and have intelligent conversations with Eve. The other organ I have for you is called a penis. It will allow you to reproduce your life form and populate this planet. Eve will be very happy that you now have this organ to give her children."
Adam, very excited, exclaimed, "These are great gifts. What could possibly be bad news after such great tidings?"
God looked upon Adam and said with great sorrow, "The bad news is that when I created you, I only gave you enough blood to operate one of these organs at a time."
Then, God came to Eve to pass on some news too. "I've got some good news and some bad news," God said.
Eve looked at God and said, "Well, give me the good news first."
Smiling, God explained, "I've got two new organs for you. One is called a brain. It will allow you to be very intelligent, create new things and have intelligent conversations with Adam. The other organ I have for you is called a vagina. It will allow you to reproduce your now intelligent life form and populate this planet. Adam will be very happy that you now have this organ to give him children."
Eve, very excited, exclaimed, "These are great gifts you have given to me. What could possibly be bad news after such great tidings?"
God looked upon Eve and said with great sorrow, "The bad news is that when I created you, I only gave you enough blood to operate one of these organs at a time. While you're bleeding through one of them every 28 days, the other will remain useless."
Vote:
What's the warmest organ in a dead woman's body?
My dick.
Vote:
I met a girl who used masturbate to 2 girls 1 cup.
And that kids, is how j met your mother.
Vote:
One day two boys were walking through the woods when they saw some rabbit turds.
One of the boys said, "What is that?"
"They're smart pills," said the other boy.
"Eat them and they'll make you smarter."
So he ate them and said, "These taste like crap."
"See," said the other boy, "you're getting smarter already."
Vote:
What is the last thing to go through a bug's mind when it hits your windshield?
It's ass.
Vote:
Q: Why did the cowboy have sh*t in his mustache?
A: Cuz he'd been lookin for love in all the wrong places.
Vote:
One man says, "I can't believe they are still together after all that crap."
The other man says, "Who?"
The first man says, "Your butt cheeks."
Vote:
Q: What did the pedophile say when he was released from prison?
A: "I feel like a kid again."
Vote: