Dad: Hey son want to hear a joke?
Son: Yeah!
Dad: Pussy.
Son: I don't get it.
Dad: Exactly...
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Why does a penis have a hole at the end?
So guys can be open-minded.
What is the difference between men and women?
A woman wants a man to satisfy their every little need.
A man wants all the women to satisfy their one and only little need.
Q: Why do men fart louder than women?
A: because they have a microphone and two speakers.
Women dream of world peace, a safe environment, and eliminating hunger.
What do men dream of?
Being stuck in an elevator with the Doublemint twins.
Men are like.....Weather.
Nothing can be done to change either one of them.
If you want to know why men are called the 'opposite sex', express an opinion!
Why do so many women fake orgasm?
Because so many men fake foreplay.
General Peter Pollock, the Navy Chief was visiting his colleague General Marshall, who was in charge of the Army.
General Pollock arrives at the military camp and is greeted by Marshall.
They both walk around the place, and Pollock asks: "So how are your men Marshall?"
"Very well trained, Peter."
"I hope so. You see, my men over at the Navy are so well trained, you could see they're the bravest men all over the country."
"Well, my men are very brave, too."
"I'd like to see that."
So Marshall calls an under-trainee and says:
"James!
I want you to stop that tank coming here with your body!"
"Are you crazy?
It'd kill me, you idiot!
I'm out of here!"
As James ran away, Marshall turned to a bewildered Pollock and said:
"You see? You have to be pretty brave to talk like that to a general."
A new bride was a bit embarrassed to be known as a honeymooner.
So when she and her husband pulled up to the hotel, she asked him if there was any way that they could make it appear that they had been married a long time.
He responded, "Sure.
You carry the suitcases!"
A Roadway driver is driving east on Route 66 he sees a truck driving west and the CB crackles to life.
“Hey Roadway driver, who are the two biggest fags in America?” comes from the CB.
The Roadway driver replies, “I don’t know.”
The other trucker says ” You and your brother.”
Well the Roadway driver gets annoyed but the other driver tells him “It’s just a joke – tell it to the next truck you see.”
Well the Roadway driver drives for about an hour and finally sees another truck.
He gets on the CB and says “Hey other truck, do you know who the two biggest fags in the world are?”
The other trucker says, “I don’t know, who?”
The roadway driver replies “Me and my brother.”