Dad: Hey son want to hear a joke?
Son: Yeah!
Dad: Pussy.
Son: I don't get it.
Dad: Exactly...
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Two gays were at a dance.
As they were jigging about the floor with each other.
Two massive guys entered the hall 6 foot 6 20 stone and full of muscle One gay asked his mate "Is that the bouncers that have just come in?"
"No" grinned the other,"That's the raffle."
A huge guy walks into a bar, approaches a little guy and karate chops him in the back.
When the little guy gets up, the huge guy says, "That was a karate chop from Korea."
A little later, the huge guy walks back over to the little guy and karate chops him in the back.
The huge guy says, "That was a karate chop from China."
The little guy leaves the bar, comes back and hits the huge guy on the back.
The huge guy lies unconscious on the floor.
The little guy tells the bartender, "Tell him that was a crowbar from Sears."
What do you call a woman that works like a man??
Lazy.
Brrr! My hands are cold.
Can I warm them in your heaving breasts?
Q: Why did God create Adam before he created eve?
A: Because he didn't want anyone telling him how to make Adam.
Men are like.....Laxatives.
They irritate the shit out of you.
Q. What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
A. A widow.
How do most men compare to Mel Gibson?
They have everything he has, except talent, money, and looks.
Two guys are walking down the street when a mugger approaches them and demands their money. They both grudgingly pull out their wallets and begin taking out their cash.
Just then one guy turns to the other and hands him a bill.
"Here’s that $20 I owe you," he says.