Joke #7959

What's green and yellow and eats nuts? Gonorrhea.

Q: What do you get when you put Raggedy Ann and the Pillsbury Doughboy together? A: A redhead with a yeast infection.

How do you f*ck a fat chick? Roll her in flour and find the wet spot.

Q: Did you hear about the leper poker game? A: One guy threw in his hand and the other three laughed their heads off.

When you're neckin' with yer honey And your nose is kinda runny You might think it's funny... But it's not.

Guy takes his wife to the Doctor... The Doc says, "Well, it's either Alzheimers disease or AIDS." "What do you mean?" The guy says, "You can't tell the difference?" "Yeah, the two look a lot alike in the early stages... Tell you what.. Drive her way out into the country, kick her out of the car, and if she finds her way back, don't fuck her."

This morning as I was buttoning my shirt, a button fell off. After that, I picked up my briefcase, and the handle fell off. Then I went to open the door, and the doorknob fell off. I went to get into my car, and the door handle came off in my hand. Now I'm afraid to pee.

Q: Why is diarrhea hereditary? A: It runs in your genes.

Him: "I'm going to come and see you, I don't care about the gas prices or anything I'm coming to no matter what." Her: "Aw okay, I'm going to get ready." Him: "I love you, I can't wait to see you, I'm getting ready to leave." Her: "Okay honey, I'm on my period, just letting you know." Him: "My car just blew up, I can't come see you." Her: "Get your friend to bring you, he always does." Him: "He got shot I can't come, sorry." Her: "Never mind I'm not on my period, my panties are just red." Him: "My boy said he is okay, he's going to take me, I'm going." Her: "I'm really on my period." Him: "Damn! He got shot again..."

Knock knock. Who's there? Urine. Urine who? Urine trouble if you don't open the door.

What did Obi Wan say when Luke was constipated? "Use the F-O-R-C-E Luke!"